Adulthood often feels like a journey without a map. Each of us moves from one event to the next, sometimes lacking a clear sense of direction or progress. Remember how, as kids, we had clear milestones – graduating high school, then college, followed by the start of a career? But as we settle into our professional lives, that sense of progression can seem to plateau. The milestones that once guided us become less apparent, and it's not unusual to find ourselves in a rut.

“A novel has to have shape, and life doesn’t have any,” the writer Jean Rhys once said. Indeed, life doesn’t unfold like a scripted narrative with epic climaxes like those in the Star Wars saga. However, this doesn’t mean our personal stories lack the potential for exciting, new chapters. Unlike a novel’s predetermined plot, the course of our lives offers us the chance to exercise our agency, to be the architects of our own journey.

But how often do we pause to consider our path? Are we consciously crafting our story, or are we simply letting life happen to us? In the age of rapid change and endless digital distractions, reclaiming the pen to write our own story is more crucial than ever.

When you feel especially stifled, it’s tempting to dream about a rip-it-up-and-start-again approach. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to read stories of people who stormed into their office and said, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.” A high-risk option, like completely nuking your current professional standing, isn’t a realistic path for most people.

You don't have to leap into the unknown without a plan. Preparing for a future that differs significantly from your present involves several essential steps and qualities to ensure you're stepping forward confidently.

Visions of a new world

There are some situations where your first step to creating a new phase should be leaving your own one entirely. For the most part, though, setting yourself up for a change involves assessing your current surroundings and evaluating what better ones might look like.

If you enjoy your workplace but not the nature of your work, you can consider pursuing a different role at your current organization. Conversely, if you enjoy your work but not where you do it, you may seek a similar or better role elsewhere. Of course, when you don’t get pleasure from either your job or your workplace, it may be time to step back, pause, and reassess. 

Crafting a Fulfilling Life

When drafting up your new story, don’t just focus on the hours you spend working. While we fill up much of our waking lives with our professions, they don’t define us. It’s entirely possible that tinkering with the fulfillment you get outside of the office will change how you feel when you’re in it. Achieving work-life harmony is not just about a job that aligns with your values but also about cultivating a life that enriches your work experience.

Transformation from within

Just as surely as you need to survey the landscape before making a move, you need to take stock of what’s going on with you. It’s easy to blame external forces for all the things we don’t like about our lives, but we often play a role in our frustrations.

• Do you have habits that are holding you back?

• Are there areas of your life where you find yourself going through the motions?

• Have you given up on seeking meaning and value outside of work and family?

Answering these questions honestly is essential to truly restructure your life. 

In many cases, doing this inward work first will give you a better sense of what you’re looking for in your career and personal life. We ask children what they want to be when they grow up, but you need to ask yourself who you want to be today? Understanding what really matters to you and how you can contribute to those around you will give you a better sense of what your ideal career will look like. 

Be ready to adapt

No matter how much you prepare, you can’t assume that every step of the way will proceed accordingly. Life has an unrelenting habit of throwing us curve balls when we least expect them. If you buckle at the slightest sign of adversity or tumult, you’ll never get where you want to go. Expect that there will be swerves and surprises as you begin a new phase because, to put it bluntly, there will be. 

Whether we want to make a big change or simply tinker with small aspects of our lives, we don’t need to feel like actors in somebody else’s play. You have the power to direct the action to a certain degree and provided you understand you can’t do it totally, you can be an active participant in creating the next phase of you.