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Episode 45: Paying It Forward With The Simple Question: How Can I Help? With Corliss Taylor 

In the world that we currently live in, it can be hard to look outside of yourself. That is why it is amazing to see someone who is helping so naturally. Sharing how you can put yourself in a position to be of help to others, Amy Vetter sits down with Corliss Taylor, the VP and Charitable Development Officer for Raymond James. Corliss shares teachings from her parents that have served her in exploring her passion for the work she does and paying it forward. She also takes us deep into the importance of diversity and inclusion and receiving feedback. What is more, her tips on shifting the conversation on inclusion and making an impact are not to miss in this episode!

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Paying It Forward With The Simple Question: How Can I Help? With Corliss Taylor

I interviewed Corliss Taylor, the Vice President and Charitable Development Officer for Raymond James Trust, a subsidiary of Raymond James Financial. Corliss’ passion is raising awareness about how to do strategic charitable planning through education and marketing. She is also the appointed national co-chair of the women's inclusion network for Raymond James Financial, working tirelessly to incorporate diversity and inclusion into the corporate conversation. Corliss is a native of Atlanta, Georgia. She received her Bachelor's Degree from Brown University and holds a Master's in Business Administration and Juris Doctorate Degree. She's also earned her Certified Trust and Financial Advisor designation from the American Bankers Association. She lives in Tampa, Florida. She enjoys running, reading and the popular game show, Jeopardy. During my interview with Corliss, she shares teachings from her parents that have served her in exploring her own passion for the work she does and paying it forward. Her tips on how to shift the conversation on inclusion and make an impact are not to be missed during this episode.

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I'm excited to have Corliss Taylor from Raymond James. Corliss, did you want to go ahead and give a brief introduction of who you are and what you do?

Thank you, Amy, for having me on the program. I'm Corliss Taylor. I work for Raymond James Trust. I'm the Vice President and Charitable Development Officer for our trust company. That means that I talk all things charitable planning, along with trust and estate planning with our financial advisors across our footprint. I get to talk about strategies and solutions and implement that with the in-state clients. It's an awesome opportunity. I'm also the National Coach here for our Women's Inclusion Network, which focuses on diversity inclusion and how we can make sure that we're treating everyone equally and being inclusive across the company.

That’s such an important topic especially now. That was one thing I was talking about with a group of friends. Everything that's come out with the issues with George Floyd and so forth, the good, the positive has been this discussion being elevated in corporate environments, more awareness and talking to people about their stories. Have you noticed that?

I would have to be remiss if I didn't mention our firms took a stand that I was so proud of. They sent out an email. They sent out a pledge where all of the executive members, our diversity and inclusion advisory council, and board members signed this pledge to start the conversation. It's not an easy one to have, especially for a corporate firm to enter into. They wanted to start the conversation and then take actionable steps to make a difference. I thought that was exemplary. I was very excited about that. The firm is talking about it. I have colleagues across the industry talking about it. The conversation has definitely started.

I'm glad to have you on and talk about your story. You're definitely a trailblazer to have worked in a traditional firm like you are and have the impact that you are. I'd love to talk about your beginnings. Where did you grow up? What was your family? What did your parents do? Give us a little background on yourself.

They call me the little girl from the South. I was born and raised in Atlanta. This was before it became Hot-Lanta. That was many years ago. I was raised there with my family. My mom and dad's side are there. Now I live in Florida, but 98% of my family is still in Atlanta. We were a close-knit family. I have one sister. It was us and my cousins growing up. We did a lot of fun things. My mom was adamant that we get out and we get exposure because we were all there in Atlanta. My mom is a computer professional. Back in the day, she was raising us. She was a teacher. She taught school. She morphed into teaching about computers. She's a specialist in computers. My dad owned his own businesses since I was a baby. He loved to tinker with his hands. He’s deceased, but he's left this great entrepreneurial spirit in us to go out, figure it out, tinker until you find out what the answer is. That's what I grew up seeing, someone teaching me something. My dad telling me how to implement what my mom is teaching.

Go do it, screw up and then learn how to do it right. What kind of business did he have?

He had a barbershop and beauty salon combo back before it was popular. We used to go in and be happy to be there. He was a barber, but he owned several barbershops. He owned about four barbershops before he passed. He had two of them with a beauty salon. My sister and I would go hang out there because we thought it was fun. He would teach us how to run a business, how to fix things in the business, anything he could find his hands to do because he said, “You have to be self-sufficient as a business owner.” I remember that has translated into Corporate America with me. You have to be able to fix issues.

You have to be able to go fish. Someone's not always there to answer the question for you. You have to be able to figure out how you go find alternative answers.

You have to be resourceful.

It's funny when you talk about like that time period of salons, I remember going with my mom. The reason I look forward to it was they have the Dr. Pepper bottles. They had the bottle opener there. I felt Dr. Pepper tasted different when I was at the salon. That's what I think about going to the salon at that age.

It's funny you should say that because I'm from Atlanta, home of Coca Cola. When we go to the salon, because we're young and we're happy to be there, we're kids, we would get into things. My mom would say, “If you're good today, I will give you a Coca-Cola and your favorite lollipop,” whatever. “If you're not good, you don't get one.” To me, Coca-Cola is a reward.

Knowing the field you're in, why did you decide to not go to the beauty salon area or be a computer engineer?

Sometimes periodically, at least I'd say four times a year, I tell my mother, “Thank you, mom.” My mother was the type of mother that was domineering. She would tell you exactly why it was wrong and why you should do this. I was her adventurous child. I needed to go out and broaden my perspective and my horizons. She wanted me to go away to school. I had already picked out my undergrad. I knew what I was going to do. She said, “No, you're going to Brown University. You're going to get a better education. You're going to go out and conquer the word. I always wanted to do it since I was a little girl. That's what you're going to do.” That is the reason I did not try to take over my dad's business. I didn't even go into teaching because she said, “Go expand.” When I got in my college years, I realized I love numbers. I love people. Here I am. I felt that I was like, “You made me do it, but I’m thankful that you did.”

That must have been scary. Going from something where you felt safe and your mom's going like, “Go out in the wild and figure it out.” What was your process to even figure out that you liked numbers or get comfortable with being on your own and going away from what you knew?

When I left home, we'd gone on vacation but I had my family there. It was such an undertaking. My mother was there. My sister was there. My dad had passed. My mom said to me, “You are here. You will make it. You figure it out. I'm here for anything you need, but I know you.” I was like, “She’s right.” She encouraged me. She may not be here, but she would always say, “I'm one plane ride away.” I felt that comfort, so I never felt alone. I did have to figure out quite a bit because again, I'm the little girl from the South and I went to Providence, Rhode Island. I didn't know anything about that. Culture change, culture shock, but she encouraged me to figure it out. It was difficult at first, but then I found my way slowly but surely. I am ever grateful to them. They allowed me to learn and do.

It is such a hard thing as a parent. I pushed my son as well too. I have been a commuter in college and I was like, “You need to see the college experiences,” but I would cry when he was leaving. I'm like, “I'm not crying. I'm excited for you but I'm so sad.” It's still hard, but I know it's the right thing. As a parent, you go back and forth. I would say probably diversity was completely different in Rhode Island than you were used to. Did you see that? Did it confront you in any way? Was it like you had so much confidence built-in from growing up with your family that you were able to push past it? Tell me what that experience was like.

Paying It Forward: Diversity of thought, people, and ideas all work together for the bottom line.

It was a shock at first. It's not as diverse as we would like to see it. I understood because it's very difficult to get in, stay in and maintain a good grade point average. Kudos to the school for the amount of diversity they do have and they're focused on it. It was a shock for me. I spent my initial days there figuring things out for me to be successful. I'd seen this growing up. One thing I knew for sure is when I would look around and realize where I am and how grateful I was to be there, I had to help somebody else. What I figured out was you have to be the best version of you. I figured that out after a while, and I said, “What's in the best version of me, then I can reach back.”

When I got to that turning point, I'd say about the middle of my sophomore year, the end of the first semester, beginning of the second, then I started reaching out for that diversity edge because now I'm at the point where I want to help someone else. I started looking for it. It was there, but I had to be cognizant of where the diversity was located and then be intentional about expanding it. We had many groups and organizations and African-American this, Asian this and Latinos. We had them there, but we wanted to expand it. It was work. You had to get into organizations. I joined a sorority so that I could do more service and the university recognized that. We were able to do things at the university in some of the halls and provide that diverse, cultural, the diaspora that we were trying to provide.

We did that. Once I graduated, I'd never stopped. When I look at where I am now, I'm like, “I’ve been doing this my entire career,” without even meaning to. My motto is to help someone. If you have the intention to help, when you show up on the scene, you're looking for service, how can I do something for someone? What is the issue that I can resolve? That's where I found myself in my first job and then where I am now. I'm grateful for the opportunity to even be sitting here, still having this conversation.

I find this an interesting conversation because there are people that's natural to them. How can I help? You start noticing that and take it into your corporate world. Little by little, you start noticing it's a repetition in your life. You might have not noticed it right away. For people that it doesn't come naturally to ask that question, what would you suggest to them? Many people are in their own experience. It can be very hard to look outside of yourself, your own experience. What you're describing that when you talk about diversity and inclusion is do I see me. If I want to go work at Raymond James, if I don't see myself or someone like me, I may not apply. You were demonstrating with what you did was outreach and how can I help other people get these opportunities and be able? If that doesn't come naturally to me because I don't see it that way, what would you suggest to people that they could do so that they can start understanding outside perspectives and being able to shift themselves?

If they don't see themselves in the room, if they don't see anyone that looks like them, if they are in the room, it is incumbent upon them to bring more people into the room. I cannot tell you, Amy, how many times I’ve been the only one in the room. When I noticed that, now I know what my service is, “The next time I show up to this room or before I leave this room, how can I get someone else like me here?” It's not all about me. It's about expanding the diversity, inclusion, equality and even the fitness of that organization. I believe diversity of thought, people and ideas, it all works together for the bottom line. If you don't see anyone in the room and you're there, you’d have to bring someone.

If you're not comfortable doing that, the issue now has become educating yourself. Getting the right mentor or the right session, class, degree and partner to show you how to be fearless in environments like this. That's what it takes to have difficult conversations. You have to be prepared and you have to be fearless. You have to know if this cause is worth fighting for. I have to educate myself on both sides of the argument, not the one that I'm the proponent of. Be able to go in with that education and have a conversation with the people that can make a difference. All of that takes work. It takes effort on your part. If you feel as though you are not ready to go in and bring more people like you.

It works to the discussion of mindfulness, that outside awareness of yourself. I would also flip it to say, “If I'm in the room and everyone looks like me, what do I do?” It's the same answer probably that I need to educate myself. I need to have a hard discussion with everyone in the room of, “Why do we all look alike?”

I'm grateful for my role, but I take this seriously. I have gotten more calls from senior leaders, executive leaders, people reaching out saying, “What can I do?” To your question, if everybody looks at me of, “What can I do?” they wanted to know that. They were asking an earnest. My response to them was, “Your call means a lot. I appreciate it, but you have identified a serious issue that only you can fix because no one else in that room calls me. I don't look like you. You call me because you said no one in the room looked like Corliss. You wanted to know how can you get some people in the room that looked like me. Now it’s your issue. What are you going to do to fix it?” Amy, I love to read. I digress here. I am an avid reader. I roll off the list of books because you can educate yourself quickly in a book. You can read it at your own pace. You can digest it.

I roll off books, for instance, How to Be an Antiracist, White Fragility, The Warmth of Other Suns. Read those books, see what we've experienced, see what you're experiencing and how can we come together in unity. We need to be educated on both sides of this issue and figure out a harmonious way to continue to coexist where no one is disadvantaged. That's a tall order. This is years of the same situation repeating itself. I tell my friends, “When no one looks like me, then what are you going to do?” I give them books. I give them some information and some game changers they can implement. I follow up.

It's a good point that it's not a quick fix. This is a marathon. It's one thing at a time. Sometimes an issue can get overwhelming that people get overwhelmed by the issue and then stagnate because it could be too much. I love the first step of, “Here's a list of books you can start with. Take some personal education and read some books.” You said you have some other little game-changers. What are those?

This is my personal favorite, “Bring me to the meeting. Just ask me through email. Can I come to the meeting too?” I say that not because I believe I have all the answers, but what I do believe is if you're serious, bring me or someone else that would fit. We're talking to a tech company. You may not want to bring me because I do trust and estate planning, but if you’re okay, I'm okay with it. To my point about being fearless, bring me in the room. If I don't know the answer, I’ll find it. If you know someone else that looks like me that you think would be qualified to be in that room, bring them to the meeting.

When you bring someone to the meeting, it doesn't mean you have to contribute. You can shadow.

That’s what I was about to say. You're exactly right. Two things are accomplished. One, that meeting no longer is a meeting that everybody looks the same. The second point is you don't have to have that person say something to the CEO to change the company's bottom line. Allow that person to be educated in your space because they are learning as well. If you allow them to say something, you can learn also. It's a win-win. In my opinion, that's one of the tricks I’ll implement quickly because it's easy to do. There are qualified candidates of diverse backgrounds available. We have to look for them.

Also, when you shadow a conversation and you can practice active listening this way, but if someone's sitting in the room that's not normally in the room, there might be things that they can take notes on in their observation. This is where the conversation would have gotten uncomfortable for someone that wasn't the same as everybody else and would have struggled to speak up. The one thing about feedback that is important if you ask someone to give feedback is that you're specific about the feedback you want. If I invite you, Corliss, to my next meeting and I'd like to get your observation of the meeting, what we talked about, how it made you feel, I need to be very specific. What conversations made you uncomfortable? What areas would we need to change how we operate to be more included? It's not a free for all because sometimes a free for all might create opinion versus specific actionable items that someone can work on.

You have a prolific and profound point there. I tell this to my family, people that look like me. Everyone else is not the only audience that needs to be educated. Because we are feeling this, we need to understand what are the obstacles. What are the roadblocks? Have an agenda because I could go from childhood. You asked me about where did I grow up. I could go all the way back to when I was a little girl, what happened to me? We're not talking about that now. That's not the issue on the table. I don't want to know about that when you were twelve. Your story was okay, but we're talking about concrete, actionable items we can do right now to make a difference with X, whatever X is in your company or with your outside education group. Whatever X is, have an agenda and everybody needs to stick to the agenda. If we can't get to everything on the agenda, let's meet again. What I found is we can see this has been the case. We won't solve this all in one meeting. If you're willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the work and have that model of, “How can help? How can I serve?” That's me, but it works. If you have that, then you don't mind putting in the work. You don't mind the effort.

If you continue to even pause in the meeting to remind everyone, “How can I help? How can I serve? Let's get grounded back into why we're here.” That's important. You have passion around found this passion in college, which has served you well. When you started off on your career path, I know you noticed you were good with numbers so you have that awareness of yourself. What helped you as you were growing in your career?

I started out my career for a brief moment using numbers. I said, “I have this degree. It makes sense. You should use numbers.” I was a senior financial analyst doing spreadsheets. I met a friend. I was doing a leadership class. We became friends. We were talking. She said, “You’re such a people person. Why aren't you crunching numbers?” I laughed about it then I thought about that. I was like, “I do love people talking to people and interacting.” I did a self-assessment. I know it sounds cliché-ish now. Back in the day, that wasn't the buzzword. I sat down and I was doing this senior financial analyst position. Someone on the phone told me that they will recruiting over to have people start a unit to do trust and estate claim.

Back to my ever-loving mother, she said, “You will go to law school.” I was like, “No. I’ll go. I promise.” I never thought about it. When I heard about this trust and estate planning, you need a legal background. I thought, “Let me see what that's about. I remember my mom said I should go to law school.” Do you see how all the dots connected? I applied and got the role. I went immediately into trusting in estate planning. How did I make that jump? I listened to my friend who gave me feedback on me that I did not sleep. I knew I loved people. I knew I loved interacting, but I’ve never put that together with my career because my degree was in Math. I had a great job. Let's keep moving.

Paying It Forward: We cannot use old methods on new issues all the time. We have to adapt, listen, and see what is going to be effective.

I believe this quote came from Oprah or maybe Nelson Mandela, whoever wanted to give them their credit, “When opportunity and preparedness come together, you have success.” When the opportunity presented itself with the firm, I was prepared because I knew I should be in this role because I did a self-assessment. My friend said it and here we go to success. My career took off. I took that while I’ve been in private wealth management, trust and estate planning my entire career by listening and asking.

It's an important point because when we get in our own way of taking opportunities many times because we think, “We don't have the Law degree. We don't have this or that, so we don't apply,” which is something that harms diversity in a lot of corporate environments. Many women will be like, “I don't have Y, but I have X and Z. I'm not going to apply until I have Y.” The openness to look for the opportunity and put yourself at risk that you may not be good at something, but you know that you want to try it and there could be learning in that is a hard thing for people to do that. It doesn't come naturally. You were fortunate you had your mom's voice in your ear. Other people don’t have that. What would you suggest?

I feel like this. We had a board member from Raymond James speak to us, Susan Story. She said, “Women typically do what they’re saying.” I can't check the box on every job requirement they want for this particular role so I won't apply. You see the women doing that. I agree. It's very rare that anyone will be 100% qualified for any roles. Men tend to do this exceedingly well. They see a role. They think it's interesting. They apply. They think they're the ones for the job. If they are a physicist and they want to do artwork and they have no idea about how to paint, they don't care. “It seems interesting, I'm going for it.”

What I tell women specifically, and people in general is if you have an interest in this role, something in told you, “You could do it.” Why would you deny that inner voice that said you could do it? You're not being true to yourself. What would love that much and be true to yourself? Be you, bring your whole self. Don't be afraid of no. If you don't get it, ask why you didn't get it. Do what you need to do to better yourself to get the qualifications the next time. I also say to people who are in authority that you need to also think about people who were bold enough to apply for this role and they knew they didn't have the qualifications. If they're bold enough to do it, they're bold enough to figure out this job. I tell hiring managers that. “I was bold enough to apply to be a heart surgeon and I’ve never been to medical school. She's going to figure out how to do it.”

That drive sometimes is much more attractive in someone that works for you than someone that can check off all the boxes, but things come easy. They're going to work hard for the opportunity. I love also about not being afraid of the no because that's truly how we learn. We have to be okay sometimes with rejection because in those moments you have to look at where are my opportunities to get this next time. What learning do I have to do? What experience do I have to do? It comes back to what we were talking about with the right feedback. If you don't get the role, ask why so that you know exactly what you need to do to get it the next time or somewhere else or whatever that means for you if you're that excited about new job prospects.

I know that it's a real issue for some. I have this mentoring group in the firm and some of the mentees are introverts and they cannot step up. They can't see themselves there. What I tell them is, “You have to do a vision board. You have to see yourself doing whatever it is that you're afraid of. You’ve got to own it.” However you get to own it, let's walk through that process. We can role play here. I can interview you and help you get ready for it. You can take a Toastmaster's class so that you can articulate your thoughts and won’t get nervous. What I tell people is you have to disarm the audience. If you don't think that you can speak to it, write it down.

When you go to the interview, tell the interviewer, “I am an introvert. I know I can do this role.” I wrote down what I could do and slide the paper over to them. It's your paper. If they ask questions, you should be able to speak to that because you're not speaking to their question in general. You're speaking to their question on your paper. You’ve got to be able to do that. It's about finding the right technique to get to the ability to say, “I'm the girl for the job or I'm the guy for the job.”

This goes with our discussion of inclusion personality types that it's a two-way street. That person that it may not come comfortable could be completely qualified for the job, but not great in an interview, also as a hiring manager, we often, without meaning to, it's an unconscious bias of hiring someone like me. You interview someone. You're excited because you talk in the same language, but sometimes you need to step back and define that persona. It might be that someone has a different personality than you. I’ve interviewed a number of introverts on this show that have told their story and what they need in a meeting in order to be successful. They need preparation. They need an agenda. If you're a hiring manager, how can you give them an agenda before they show up without surprise questions so that someone can be prepared?

How can you set it up to give them time to think where they need some silence before they respond right away? If you've got a group interview style, making sure that each person has a moment to talk where you're offering the stage to them to talk. All of these things about inclusion, there are many different ways that we have to expand basically the way our operating style is in order to make sure we do have a diversity of thought in the room.

We cannot use old methods on new issues all the time. We have to adapt. We have to listen and see what is it that is going to be effective. If it happens to be an old method, let's pull it out and dust it off. If it's not, be willing to be nimble and malleable so that you can get the issue resolved.

You've given many awesome tips so far that will be actionable for people. How do you feel you've passed this on in your own family and to the people that you work with? You've had the benefit of your parents pushing you. How do you do it yourself?

 If you want to help someone else, it's all about passing it on, paying it forward. What I do, for me, I love to serve. I mentor. I teach and I make myself available. You may not be in one of my groups or my book club. I tell people, “Give my number out. I don't mind. Tell me who it is.” Even if you don’t, if they call me and they say, “I know,” it's fine. Whatever I can share, I'm willing to do that. If it's going to help you, by all means, I will share it. That's one of the ways I do it. Also for my family, they're back in Atlanta. Atlanta is one of the civil rights grounds.

I make sure I talk to my family. My younger cousins are active. They're involved and engaged. I try to tell them what I know, what worked and what did not work, and here are the mistakes I made. You don't want to leave those out. I'm telling that family or I'm telling my mentees or someone that calls, “Here are the mistakes I made.” A lot of times, we don't want to talk about this. They’re not our shining moment. That's the one that you wouldn’t want to brag about. What they do is they help someone else to get to a resolution faster because they don’t have to make the same mistakes you made. They don't have to trip, stumble and fall and go down a rabbit trail because you've already done that. Share it. Make it available. Don't be afraid to expose yourself. Put yourself out there and say, “I’ll help. Here's how I didn't do well. Here's how I did do well.” Be an example. It helps.

To conclude, I like to do some rapid-fire questions. You pick a category, family and friends, money, spiritual or health.

Money, I'm in financial services.

Things or actions I don't have that I want with money?

It can be anything?

Yes.

Paying It Forward: If you want to help someone else, it's all about passing it on. Paying it forward.

If I had the money, I would build a school for girls. I would educate them. It would be a private school with all the offerings to get them prepared for college. That's what I’d do.

Things or actions that I do have that I do want as far as money?

I have a small group at my church where we go back and serve. We give back. We buy supplies, whether it's school supplies or food. I can contribute to that because it's in my budget. I put it in the budget, the line item that I can give back and help somebody else in need.

Things or actions that I don't have that I don't want as far as money?

I don't have the fame and the fortune that goes along with money. I don't want that. If you’ve heard the song, “More Money, More Problems,” people know about it. They're like, “She hit the lottery. She has $20 million,” and then all the problems. She goes, “I don't want that.” I don't have it. I don't want those. I want to be able to help people. People come up and they are better for it. I walk away and you don't have to talk about it anymore.

Things or actions that I do have that I don't want as far as money?

I do have a budget and I don't want one. I want to give, but I do have a budget that I have to stick to. I don't want it.

With our conversation, is there anything you want to make sure that we haven't covered or that is a big takeaway you want people to walk away with from our conversation?

This has been great. It's been fun. You're true to form like your other sessions. It's been awesome. Thank you again for the opportunity. I would want everyone to know if you know anything about me, Corliss, I love to serve. I love to give back. The reward that I get for that, it's selfish because I am built up. I'm energized. I have the energy of a two-year-old because to see someone else benefited from whatever little thing I can do, it makes me happy. I would say the whole summary of this is giving back and see how it does for you.

You're contagious because I feel it. I'm ready to give. I'm ready to serve. Thank you for being on. You had many great tips for people to take away. Thank you.

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For Mindful Moments on this interview with Corliss Taylor, which I found inspiring. There are many great tips in here. To shift the conversation, I know a lot of times when we talk about diversity and inclusion, it can feel overwhelming. It can feel like there's much to be done. It can paralyze us rather than thinking about the little things that we can do one step at a time to start making an impact. I love her story about her parents and the importance of her mom telling her she got this. It's important with the people that we work with, our children, family and friends that we do have this policy outlook to encourage people to take chances. Look internally at our strengths and know that we always have ourselves to rely on and a network of people around us in case we fall. Who those people are, it's important to identify, like her mom said, “I'm only a plane ride way.”

Who are those people that are a plane ride away, a phone call away that if you're having those bad days or feeling like you're falling through the cracks? Who are you going to talk to help pick you back up, that believes in you and knows that you were doing the right thing even on the days that it's not perfect? Her findings as she went through school about being intentional, about how to expand her network and give back to others. Once she got through the hard stuff, how was she going to help others get through it as well? That's why I’ve titled this, How Can I Help? This was a major theme with her that throughout her career and life, that maybe she didn't identify it early on, but because of the help that she received, then her way of giving back is asking others, “How can I help?”

It's such a simple question, but it's important in the work that we do with the people that we're working with, with our family members, is asking the question, “How can I help?” We often don't ask that question because maybe we don't have the bandwidth. If someone told us what we need to do to help, we couldn't do it. Many of those answers are not huge things that we need to do to help. It's often listening and not solving. It's listening to what someone's story is, what their issues are, letting them get their feelings out, and then maybe coming back later with how you help to resolve certain issues or other resources or people you know that can help as well. It doesn't always mean it has to be us. It's being open enough to have the conversation. When we talked about how we get other people in the room is important on both sides of the conversation.

Number one, if we're the person that doesn't look like the other people in the room, what things can we do to make sure that we change that? How can we be fearless? I loved that and also make sure you're educated before you go into a conversation. Her tip on making sure you educate yourselves on both sides of an argument so that you can come in with some awareness of what another side might look like so that you can educate as well and be open to what that conversation may be. The other thing is she talked about the importance of reading and making sure that you're asking people, “What kinds of books or articles can I read that would get me more educated on this issue so that I can make a difference?”

The biggest one of the episodes was bringing me to the meeting. I love that. Even if it's not me, it's someone like me that you're bringing to the meeting that we realized that you want someone in the room that's not like everybody else. That they can give feedback on how you could set up that meeting to be more inclusive and allow them to educate themselves. Sometimes when someone shadows a meeting or a conversation, it's more after that meeting that you're giving them time to ask the questions. How did you know to answer things that way? Is this the normal way the conversation goes? How would I need to be prepared if I was going to be in the room? At least they have something to visualize in order to walk away, ask those questions and then go educate themselves.

Another great tip she talked about was having an agenda and making sure that when you're in a room that this agenda is something that has actual items. I would also include on the agenda that before an agenda is finalized, you ask a group do they have anything that they want to add to that agenda as well, to make sure that you cover what everyone's concerns are together. It's not a one-sided conversation. The quote that she said of when opportunity and preparedness come together, you have success is important. A lot of times we may be wanting a role wanting the next level, but we get in our own way saying that we don't have certain qualifications. It's important that we understand who our network is going back to who's a phone call away? Who's a plane ride away? If you needed them to support you in your success, how could you reach out to people that you need? Also realizing that everyone deals with imposter syndrome. Whatever situation that they're in, what we see on the outside is not going on the inside for people. Understanding that we're all on a learning journey together and not being afraid to push yourself that little bit.

Maybe it's setting an intention. Maybe it's setting a goal for 1 or 2 years from now, but it's being open enough to allow yourself that place to explore and to learn. Most importantly out of this conversation comes back to, “How I can help?” If that's not a natural conversation for you to have or a natural question, how can you set reminders for yourself? Maybe you start out with one a week. Who did you reach out to help or maybe it's in a larger sense of how you helped a larger community? It could be an article. It doesn't have to be a conversation, but what are the things that you can do to make your little impact? If we all do something small, it can multiply into great results. Everyone starts feeling more included, more part of the conversation and has the opportunity to grow themselves to better the organization, but also better their family and their future.

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About Corliss Taylor

Corliss Taylor is the Vice President and Charitable Development Officer for Raymond James Trust, a subsidiary of Raymond James Financial, Inc. (NYSE-RJF). Corliss’s passion is raising awareness about how to do strategic charitable planning through education and marketing. Corliss is also the appointed National Co-Chair of the Women’s Inclusion Network for Raymond James Financial, working tirelessly to incorporate diversity and inclusion into the corporate conversation.

Corliss came to Raymond James in 2012 after more than 15 years of banking, private wealth management, trust and estate planning experience. Most recently, Corliss worked for Bank of America Private Bank in the West Central Florida market. She also managed a team of associates who specialized in cultivating high net worth client relationships and problem resolutions.

Corliss is a native of Atlanta, Georgia. Corliss received her bachelor’s degree from Brown University. She also holds a Master’s in Business Administration and her Juris Doctorate degree. She has also earned her Certified Trust and Financial Advisor designation from the American Bankers Association. Corliss lives in Tampa, Florida and enjoys running, reading, and the popular game show Jeopardy.

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