Episode 155: Work-Life Harmony Live Coaching Session With Andara Michael And Morgan Breland
Are you ready to create more work-life harmony and reduce overwhelm in your daily routine? Join Amy Vetter and B3 Method team members Andara Michael and Morgan Breland for a live coaching session packed with practical strategies and real-life examples. Using the free B3 Method workbook (download yours at www.businessbalancebliss.com), they guide you through a journey of self-discovery to identify your unique triggers for overwhelm and develop personalized coping mechanisms. Learn how to create more space for yourself, prioritize well-being, and achieve greater balance in all areas of your life. Don't miss this opportunity to gain valuable insights and start living a more fulfilling life!
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Work-Life Harmony Live Coaching Session With Andara Michael And Morgan Breland
Introduction And Guided Meditation For Overwhelm
Welcome to this episode, where I interview Andara and Morgan from the B3 Method Institute, where we have a live coaching session on overwhelm. We have developed a new downloadable work-life harmony 30-day workbook that you can follow along with us and get started on your path to creating work-life harmony. I hope you enjoy this episode and you're able to uncover some actions that you can take in your life to be able to help you overcome overwhelm.
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We're doing a very special edition right now and that edition is all about work-life harmony. We're seeing people struggle with it all of the time and doing a lot of coaching on it. One of the things that we wanted to do at the B3 Method Institute was to create a workbook that you could download for free and help yourself over the next 30 days to create work-life harmony in your life.
If you haven't downloaded it already, you can go to BusinessBalanceBliss.com and you will see there's a free workbook link there and you can download it. We're going to do a piece of this workbook. I’ve got my colleagues with me, Andara and Morgan. We're going to do some live coaching with Andara and Morgan and we're going to really focus on part of this workbook, which is all about overwhelm.
I’ll give you a little preview of this workbook so that you get a feel for what you're going to download. What it is, is a way to actually walk you through how to implement real change in your life. In order for us to create change, it takes habit change and it also takes time and we have to be very specific about the things that we want to change.
In this workbook, it's easy to follow for you to be able to start creating these practices in your life. The exercise that we are going to start with is overwhelmed. I think so many people feel it right now for many different reasons and I want all of us to just get centered on that right now. We're just going to take a moment, get present, and get silent together, and we'll all do this together.
If you want to just come into your chair and just take your hands onto your lap and just close your eyes and just allow yourself to settle so we can just get present in our body, release to anything we came in here with. Just allow ourselves to feel the sensations of our breath, of our body on the chair. Just feeling supported. I want you to just count your breaths. Inhale 1, exhale 2, inhale 3, exhale 4. Just keep those breaths going until you get to ten and then you can start the count again.
With this topic of overwhelm, when I say that word, there may be some thoughts or stories that come up for us in our mind. What we want to do is just identify when we're feeling overwhelmed in our life and maybe what physical sensations we experience when we have those thoughts. Just identify what might cause those physical sensations for us. This is our time to just observe without judgment. Just observe when we have that feeling, how it feels in our body and maybe the thoughts that we repeat in our mind. I want us to all come back into the space. Just wiggle your fingers and your toes, opening your eyes, coming back into the space.
Overwhelm At Work
In this exercise, when you begin it, you're going to actually reflect on this each day so that you can identify when these things are happening in your life and you're feeling those feelings of overwhelm yourself so that you can identify what those triggers are, how you felt, maybe how you reacted each day for the next seven days. That will be in your workbook. What we're going to do right now, though, is just have a discussion on how we're feeling in the present moment and what might be causing that for us currently. I'm going to start with Andara. I'd like to just identify for our audience for yourself what was it that came up for you when I said the word overwhelm? How does that come up for you lately in your life?
Yeah, it's funny. Even just the word, I have the sensation in my stomach that hit in my stomach. When I tune into it, I'm finding, especially through that guided meditation, I have two methods of handling overwhelm. When it comes to work, I tend to run towards it and I get more aggressive. I reach for control where I can move things, where I can control things. In my personal life, it's actually the opposite. It's withdrawal. I was feeling into that during your guidance. If I feel overwhelmed emotionally, I tend to shut down. That's my method. If it's too much, I'm going to bury this to the side because I just can't handle it right now. I don't have the time. It's too much. I'm too much. Withdrawal. Those are the two things that came up for me during your guided meditation.
That's very interesting and I think it's a good observation that all of us have, how we may react differently in a work setting versus a personal setting. We don't always show up in the same way or even feel the same confidence in ourselves and how we react and when those feelings are happening. Can you think of a specific story? Let's just talk about work right now, because I think a lot of people can feel overwhelmed at work. Maybe just think of a story in the past week or the past couple weeks where you had that feeling of overwhelm that came over you.
We're now in the process of really putting together these online courses, and we had so much beautiful, incredible content. I'm relatively new to the team and there's just overwhelm with me. When it comes to, I need to understand all of these pieces and it's this overwhelm of too much content, too much information in combination with I still don't understand how to put all these pieces together. That's been my biggest overwhelm over the last couple of weeks, actually, the last couple of months.
When we think about tasks that we might have at work or things like this where we might feel that sense of overwhelm, what things are you able to control versus not control as far as the learning process of trying to figure out where all this content is and how it fits together?
One of the biggest tools that I use in these situations for overwhelm is I try to get curious. I have control over my questions, like my inquisition. Asking for help, asking for people to help clarify what are our priorities and just being vulnerable like, “I don't have the answer to this, can you help me,” or, “I don't have the time for this, can you help me prioritize my time?” That's what I try to do and I don't always get there, but that's something I can control. Asking for help and asking for clarity.
What might get in the way of you asking those questions? We definitely know we can ask those questions, but what might be stopping you from asking the question?
I have a lot of perfectionism, and I want to show people that I can do it and figure it out. It's super uncomfortable for me sometimes to be vulnerable in saying, “I don't know,” or, “I don't have the answer.” I think even from childhood, I’ve always had this sense of I want to be the one with the information I want to be able to provide answers. It is inherently vulnerable and I'd say exposing for me, especially in a new team, to say like, “I don't have the answer. I don't know,” because I think it's a deep seated fear of being seen as I don't want to say dumb, but just inefficient, ill-equipped. Basically, that comes down to it.
Thank you for being so open about that. If you were to allow yourself to be more vulnerable, ask those questions, and push past that feeling of having to be perfect, what would be the trigger that allows you to know? This would be within you or some outward response that you might see that you have to remind yourself, “I need to pause, take a beat and ask a question.” What could help you remember that?
That's a really good question because I'd say one of my hindrances is not slowing down because when I'm going, I'm just going back to all my old patterns. Even breathing, I can just even pause long enough to go take a beat. It's just that moment-to-moment awareness that's sometimes difficult for me to get.
The physical sensation that you're having is that you might be having rapid thoughts, that your heart might be racing. Is there anything that you can think of that happens when you're starting to get in the way of yourself to take that beat or pause?
I notice a difference in my voice. It's like everything's a little bit here and then when I'm really slowed down, when I'm grounded, I'm in my body, the breath in my voice is coming from my belly as opposed to right here. That's one of the biggest tells. I’ve had people in my life notice that, too. My sister, she's like, “Where are you at right now? You sound different.”
If you hear that sound or feel that sound in your throat or your voice, that would be your trigger to take that beat and pause and take a breath.
Yeah. It's very good.
As far as setting a goal for yourself, would you be able to set a goal to ask more questions and feel more comfortable asking questions in the next 90 days and do that by taking a pause when you're feeling that feeling in your throat or your voice or you hear it? Is that something that you could commit to?
Definitely. The funny thing is that I like asking questions, and it builds connections with these team members. They feel helpful. I want to do that. I think I can definitely improve that over the next four days.
Your motivating factor is that you really do want to show up that way. Do you have another motivating factor for wanting to accomplish that goal?
As we know, when something shows up at work, it also shows up in other areas of life. This concept of slowing down when I'm noticing these triggers, like you said, I see where I could do that and where that could improve my relationship with my partner, my family. I see it as like a relationship builder. Anytime I slow down, 99.9% of the time, it's good for me and it's good for the other person.
Work-Life Harmony: When something shows up at work, it also shows up in other areas of life.
One of the things we just want to think about is what you would need to clear for yourself to be able to do this. If it's a thought like perfectionism that's getting in your head when this is starting for you, is there a mantra or some intention word that you can utilize to shift that thought so that you can take that pause?
What robs me of slowing down in moments is that my mind tells me slowing down is not efficient and that we're losing time. If I can just tell myself like, “Efficiency is slowing down. Slowing down optimizes my process.” Something like that. It's speaking to my mind, but it makes it rational and logical to slow down something that feels not normal.
Taking one step at a time doesn't mean I'm not perfect.
Definitely. Slowing down speeds me up, actually.
If you can keep that mantra to reverse the thought because the thought will come up for you so that you're prepared for when that thought rises for you, I think that's really important. Any insight into yourself from having this conversation on overwhelm and what you can control with it?
These are not new concepts to me. There are things I’ve recognized before, but what I'm getting out of this is that it's layer after layer. This stuff isn't going away. We're not just going to learn about it and fix it. It's a day-to-day embodiment practice. That's why I love this workbook because it's prompting me to check in on these things every day. I need that accountability.
Thank you so much. Morgan, it’s your turn.
I think for me, after doing that meditation to begin with and grounding myself on where I'm at and where I feel overwhelmed, it's like in this current moment and in this past season of life, I have been traveling a lot personally on weekends. I'm in a very prominent wedding season. My best friend is getting married, so I'm here in Florida getting my best friend married, which is amazing. It throws off my work life and it throws off my comfort zone and it throws off routines. I'm not someone who always needs the same routine. My husband's very much so like that. I enjoy routine because I do think it helps me achieve goals. I think it helps me narrow my intentions better and be more present. When I'm out of my routines and I'm traveling and I'm and I'm seeing people that I love it, it's so rewarding.
At the same time, I do think I feel overwhelmed and I feel that the opportunity cost of maybe slipping a little bit away from goals, consistency, eating, working out, taking care of my health, and maybe sleep is lacking. I do think I struggle a little bit when I do travel because I'm constantly thinking about what I'm missing out on or how I'm uncomfortable.
Also, margin for error. One time, when I was traveling, there were three accidents on the interstate and I felt myself getting so flustered. I think it's just that sometimes I need to leave more moments to be more present or grounded, as Andra said. I'm sure that's many people's struggles. It's so hard to slow down to feel more productive. Sitting there doing this breathing exercise, I'm able to pinpoint, “I'm a little overwhelmed right now. Why is that? I'm here for a very joyous occasion. My best friend's getting married, why do I feel overwhelmed?”
I think when I reflect on taking a breath for a moment, it's because I'm thinking about me more. Right now, I'm overwhelmed. I'm stressed. I'm out of my comfort zone. I also think I can shift my perspective to gratitude that I have amazing friends that I get to celebrate. I have the opportunity to travel. I get to have a work-from-home job that I get to pour into people while also pouring into my people physically. I think I need to work on more when I feel overwhelmed, switching the thought of what am I missing? What are my opportunity costs to a more posture of gratitude for, “These things that are overwhelming me, like my friends getting married or even work, could overwhelm me.”
These are all things that I’ve always wanted and that I’ve worked for. Switching the opportunity cost to a heart of gratitude for the things that might be overwhelming me momentarily because they're all things I want and they're things that I desire. I think switching my perspective on the current circumstances that I'm going through and it's once again a great opportunity, but it does cause me to be overwhelmed when I'm not in my comfort zone or when I'm not in my office or my routine. That meditation pointed that out to me very quickly.
Work-Life Harmony: When you feel overwhelmed, switch to a heart of gratitude.
Creating Space For Yourself
I think this relates to so many people. Especially with holidays coming up and family things happening, everybody's routines get thrown off. I loved your goal of flipping to gratitude. Another thing that I'd like to ask you to think about is that I travel a lot with the work that I do, and it's important to think about what things are most important to prioritize that you do make space for. Even when you're traveling, how do you plan for exercise and food? Where are you going to make space instead of just planning for the event or the holiday coming up or so forth to so that you have some control?
There's always the question of, “What do I have control over and what do I not have control over?” If you go back and think about traveling and other family time that's going to come up and friends, what do you think you could prioritize and figure out how to make sure you create space, just like you were saying, so that you could make sure that you are still fulfilling the things that fill you up?
One thing I immediately thought of when you said that as well was I could have been much better about packing my own food or snacks that I know make me feel good so that I have the energy to do these things and to be present. I definitely missed the mark on this one. I was more worried about getting there, getting time, and what outfit I am wearing, which is important.
I also need to worry about the things that mattered to me and my health. I think those things are just so easily forgotten because you can fill it with something else, or there are other options. That's one thing I did not plan. I think that overwhelmed me as well. I didn't have an opportunity to eat something healthy or to fill my body. I was like, “What am I going to do?” I’m definitely moving forward, especially with the holiday season coming up, and I could prep better, bringing my own food, having peace of mind knowing that I’ll have the nutrients to get through these days and to get through the overwhelm. That's one thing I definitely will work on for my next trip.
I think it's really important for everyone who's reading to think about this. When we create space for ourself, and this is really what work life harmony is about, that's not selfish. What I heard you struggling with was, “I want to be there for my friend. I feel like it's bad if I make time for myself, or I don't know why I'm upset, but I'm really happy to be here.” The way we show up with the best energy is really being able to separate and step back and make sure that we have figured out if we're someone that needs to take breaks in the day, when are we going to looking at the schedule, where are we going to take that moment, even if it's just 2 minutes or 5 minutes or 15 minutes, whatever that is.
What are we going to do to step back to make sure we've got snacks if we need snacks, or to even do a quick workout in the morning. That means maybe, like some days, you have to get up a little bit earlier. Mentally prepare. It's like a mental rehearsal for what that weekend's going to be like, or when that family is coming over and so forth to make sure that you're ready. When you think about a goal for the next 90 days, how would you craft that goal around this?
I think one thing that you've taught me while working with you and through all of your courses is that I need to be more intentional about my time. For me, if that's travel, being very intentional with my calendar. During the week when I have meetings, I make sure I have those small 5-to-10-minute breaks for me to step outside. I know that sounds like minute, but like literally being in the sun or doing a quick walk or just enjoying nature for five minutes helps me ground myself.
It reminds me that whatever I'm struggling with is not that big, and the world is so vast around me that I'm going to be okay. It helps ground me from the overwhelmed thoughts. On weekends or when I travel or these next seasons coming up, I definitely think food is something that I'm going to work on prepping, or at least having a plan for so that I don't just show up and wonder why I'm overwhelmed about some of my goals not panning out the way I wanted, or just forgetfulness in that area.
I think having more attention to my calendar during the week, making sure that when I'm having some work overwhelm, I'm able to ground myself with maybe a meditation or a walk. On weekends, I definitely think something that will help me will be planning out food meals, snacks that I know will help me have the energy to be present and to show up for the people that I'm around.
What would be your motivating factor to be able to achieve this?
I think I have two. For one, I guess this might be obvious because we're talking about overwhelm, but obviously to diminish overwhelm. I don't want to feel overwhelmed. What's the saying? If you fail to prepare, you're preparing to fail. I think in certain areas, I did that a little. I think I prepared my outfits, which is great, but I didn't prepare my meals or my nutrients. I think I prepared to fail a little bit in that area. Each trip, each week, each month, as I grow, working on things to prepare better so that I'm able to see a successful weekend or be more present and be my best self so that I'm not just focusing on getting there.
Work-Life Harmony: If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
I'm not just scheduling time to be there. I'm doing all of this prep work and making sure that my calendar and whatever list, whatever journal, however I want to track it will help me be more successful while I'm there. I’m helping myself diminish my feeling of being overwhelmed and then becoming a better version of myself for the people that I want to celebrate. My main goal is not just to be there but to be filled and have that community. Diminishing overwhelm and being more present and I guess a better version of myself to people when I do travel.
Preparing For Success
What would help you stay on track? What is going to allow you to remind yourself to trigger yourself that, “I observe myself doing it?” What would be the thing, either physically, that would remind you or something that you would see that would remind you?
Yeah. When you asked Andara this question, I laughed a little bit because my body handles stress very poorly. If I have the slightest bit of overwhelm, multiple parts of my body start to freak out. My neck gets tight when I speak. When I get nervous, when I get overwhelmed, my stomach hurts. It's so evident. That's another good reminder for me to prioritize health and nutrients because my stomach will have a pit and I’ll feel nauseous so quickly, even if it's just being in a new situation. I'm very social, so naturally it's very counteractive. I enjoy and I put myself in positions that I'm uncomfortable, but my body reacts outwardly very quickly when I'm overwhelmed or stressed. I think I have many red flags or alerts in my body when I'm a little overwhelmed, but I think I need to work on a quicker response to it.
Maybe even things that I can make myself more aware of to prevent situations. Maybe it's breathing. I do know I start to talk fast and get ahead of myself. Maybe working on my breathing is something that I can do to help me calm myself down in those areas. I guess that's more of nervousness. Overwhelm when I am in a situation more so like this travel weekend, my stomach always starts to hurt. That's something that I can become hyper-aware of. I think positioning myself, whether it's a meditation or stepping outside or going for a walk, when I feel that, I can try to as quickly as I can ground myself so that I don't keep spiraling and I don't keep getting worse.
As I said earlier, focusing so much on me, it's usually not that big of an issue. As I said, I'm definitely a little bit of a perfectionist as well. If I think I'm failing at something and I keep focusing on how I'm interpreting or how I'm fixated on something, I probably won't be able to dig myself out of overwhelm because I'm so focused on my performance or my achievements. Helping ground myself and maybe gain perspective quicker would be good.
Using some of these tools and honestly keeping myself accountable through this workbook or even just writing it down in general is something that I think is going to help me get better at it. For this specific example, the next time I travel, I know that I'm going to be so much more prepared in these areas because I'm going to track it and write it down.
I think there's so much power in writing stuff down rather than just saying it or thinking it because we're so busy and we live in a social media and screen era, it's so easy to get distracted or to lose thought, especially when you're planning for the future. For me, I'm definitely going to track ways that I know I can get better in this area and then continue to find ways that I can better myself in other areas.
It's insight. That's what this is all about. It’s stepping back and seeing where we can control certain situations and regulate ourselves. In yoga, we really talk about just bring ourselves to equilibrium like, we're up here or we're too low. What tools do we have within us to bring ourselves back to that balance piece of that feeling of stillness being present and, like you said, being able to show up for others. I really appreciate both of you being so open and willing to be able to do this. For those of you that are participating, this is a workbook that will walk you through. Some of this coaching will even walk you through getting present and things that you can do to get present.
We do have videos as well that can help you with meditation, getting stillness, or even yoga. We have a virtual yoga library on BusinessBalanceBliss.com. This journal will walk you through for the next 30 days so that you can make this commitment to yourself, know how you want to feel from doing this. For those of you that are interested in doing this coaching yourself in a group format, you can go to BusinessBalanceBliss.com and we have for the beginning of the year, starting the year, our first 90-day cohort so that you can do this in a group setting. I think it's really important to hear what others are experiencing and how they're going about it because we learn from the people around us. It's, it's not just the ways that we figure out.
Someone might say something and you're like, “That was really helpful.” When we talk about health, our first 90 days is really set around health for the work-life harmony model. Our health is a lot of the things that we're talking about, and it is about really being observant as far as our sleep, going to the doctor, eating, and exercising. All of these things matter in bringing ourself to feeling good internally as well as the practices that we have inside of us to be able to create that work-life harmony and create the health that we want in our lives.
Download The Workbook And Join The 90-Day Cohort
Hopefully, you were able to take some actions away from here and we would love to hear how this 30-day workbook works out for you and the commitments that you're going to make as well. Definitely post into us, let us know what your commitment is as we went through that exercise. Maybe something came up for you. We appreciate all of you being on and joining us for this session.
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Now for my Mindful Moments of this coaching that I did with Morgan and Andara from the B3 Method Institute. I hope all of you observed that when we talk about creating work-life harmony and being able to shift the feelings that we might be struggling with, we have this opportunity to step back and look at what we can control versus what we can't control. None of this is judgment. It's just observation.
What this workbook leads you to do is to start observing when you have certain feelings coming up for you and what are those things that trigger in your body that can alert you that this is the time to pause and this is the time to bring yourself back into balance. When we talk about balance, it means all aspects of ourselves, not just exercise. There are so many things that we can do right with inside of us to bring ourselves back to a place of balance, feel better, and feel more present for the people around us.
We need to make sure that we are controlling our energy and being intentional about how we utilize that energy around others because that energy is contagious. What we want to do is be consistent in order to change a habit, and in order to change a habit, we have to be consistent every day. This workbook will help you in being consistent. It will give you the tools to do the things that you can in order to shift one thing at a time.
It's not all the things we need to shift. We want to shift one thing at a time so that we can start making big shifts in our lives, but it usually takes about 30 days to shift one habit before we can do another. We don't want to take on too many at once. We want to be really focused on what we want to change in our lives so that we can make an impact for ourselves and the people around us.
We have our 90-day coaching cohort coming up in January 2025 and we'll be running every 90 days on a different topic. The first topic is health and then move into career and brand and joy. We want to hit all of the pillars of work-life harmony so that you can create those new habits and help them stick. This is your first step in being able to do that. We are here to help you with this.
If you go to BusinessBalanceBliss.com, you will find the workbook to download. On the Breaking Beliefs page of the AmyVetter.com website, you'll see special codes for our readers that are discount codes just for the people that follow us and are part of our community. We wanted to give that gift to you. Definitely check out AmyVetter.com/breakingbeliefspodcast. Download the workbook at BusinessBalanceBliss.com. We look forward to supporting you in any way we can.
Important Links
Instagram – Andara Michael
About Andara Michael
Andara is a facilitator and operations consultant from Kansas City. After leaving the corporate hustle in early 2020, Andara began consulting for wellness companies and holistic businesses. Her various projects took her to Chicago, Thailand, Seattle, and the Pacific coast of Costa Rica where she served as general manager, retreat facilitator, and lead yoga instructor at Peace Retreat Wellness Center. She currently resides in San Jose, Costa Rica and enjoys weight lifting, scuba diving, and frequent day trips to the nearby mountains and volcanoes.
About Morgan Breland
Morgan is an Event Manager for Amy Vetter and the B3 Method Institute. Previously, she worked in fundraising for the Athletic Department at the University of West Florida, where she played softball for four years. After graduating with a Business Management degree, Morgan became a graduate assistant for the Athletics Development staff.
Following her Master's in Business Administration, she joined Amy's team and has enjoyed helping people and businesses achieve work-life harmony. Morgan currently lives in Huntsville, Alabama with her husband Garrett and enjoys hiking, going to the beach, painting, sports, and spending time with friends and family.