Episode 157: The Power Of Taking An Interest: Why It’s All About The Other Person With Elise Powers
Growing up with parents who emphasized the art of asking questions and truly listening, Elise Powers, Founder of Eleview Consulting, turned those lessons into a transformative career. In this conversation with host Amy Vetter, Elise shares how taking an interest in others became the cornerstone of her work. From building psychological safety to mastering active listening, this episode dives into the skills that drive authentic relationships and impactful leadership. Tune in for insights that can change how you connect, lead, and communicate.
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The Power Of Taking An Interest: Why It’s All About The Other Person With Elise Powers
Welcome to the show. I am very happy to be able to interview my friend Elise Powers. Elise, do you want to give a little background on yourself before we get started?
Elise Powers’ Unique Communication Journey And Career Insights
Sure, I am based in the Chicago suburbs and have lived in Chicago for about ten years now. I run a company called Eleview Consulting, and we specialize in leading workshops on interpersonal skills like communication, leadership and relationship building, for companies and law firms, and accounting firms all around the world. I'm just so glad to be here with you.
Thanks for joining me. Elise and I were introduced by Alan Colton, and that's the power of networking. Very excited to be getting to know Elise in this way and for all of you to get to know her. We're going to just start off, maybe you can just give us a little background on your upbringing in Chicago. What were your parents' backgrounds and did you have siblings?
How Childhood Lessons Shaped A Professional Career
I have an interesting family. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio, as you did. I know you lived there as well, Amy. My parents are both attorneys and they felt very strongly that I wasn't going to be successful in life unless I knew how to get along with people. They came up with these crazy rules for me and my younger brother growing up to try and teach us communication and interpersonal skills. For example, one of those rules that they had for us was starting at age three years old.
Anytime the house phone rang, I had to answer the phone, and the landline, and I couldn't hand the phone to my parents until I asked that person at least three questions about themselves. As I got older, the rule progressed where one of the questions I asked had to be a follow-up question to show my active listening skills. You can imagine the fighting, the screaming matches that would happen in our house anytime the house phone rang. I wouldn't admit it to my parents, but it really did pay off so much so that I've devoted my life and career to teaching these skills to others.
My parents were total helicopter parents in every way. They still are. They know every single friend of mine, their first name, their last name, where they went to college like there's no saying, “I'm heading out to dinner with a friend.” It's like, “Which friend? What are you talking about? Tell us everything.” They're very intense. They also have such an entrepreneurial spirit. They both started their own law practices. That was definitely instilled in me and my brother.
Just this idea of the challenges that come when you work for other people. There are certainly challenges of working for yourself and having your own business. My brother and I both decided that we wanted to kind of follow in our parent's footsteps. My brother is two years younger and he lives in New York City and is a celebrity fashion stylist. He gets to travel around the world styling famous people for red carpets and the Oscars and TV appearances. We've both found ourselves in what I would even call the professional services world, where we're interacting with people, we're using our communication, and creativity. My parents just crazy helicoptering did pay off.
It's kind of funny that like hits me with a memory because I had to answer the phone as well. For those of you that are younger, was in a time of no ID where you knew who was calling. You just had to pick up the phone. I had to answer it, “Hello, may I help you, please?”
That I got made fun of as I got older. I answered that way, I think, all the way through college till I moved out because that was the only way you were allowed to answer the phone.
It's a habit, yes. It's also we had to call our friends' houses and it was their parents who answered the phone usually. You have to talk to your parents.
Yeah, it was a different era.
It totally was different. That's so interesting and such a funny memory. Maybe you can tell me a little bit about your parents and why they found this important. What was it in their upbringing or their way to becoming attorneys that this became such an important thing for them?
I think, number one, probably knew that I wasn't going to be in science or math because I did not get those genes from them. They realized I better be good at all the other skills because I'm severely lacking in anything technical. They are so well-liked by everyone who knows them. They are just beloved by their friends and really in the community, I think as a whole. It's because they make everyone they interact with feel important. They ask a ton of questions to people like my friends.
I'm 32 and my friends still say like, “Can I come to your house? I just want to sit on the couch and have your parents ask me questions about myself.” None of my friends' parents ever really would ask me questions. From a young age, it was like, “Josie, sit down, we want to hear all about your classes and your homework and your teachers and your friends and your boyfriends.” They just have this innate ability that I think has proved them very well because they've been successful, both personally in their relationships and professionally.
Part of it is I just saw them doing that. I learned through osmosis is even little things like my dad was always, before we went to a family gathering, it would be, “Let's sit down and review everyone's name and what they told us last year at Thanksgiving. You can follow up and ask them about how that project at work went or how their vacation went.” We had to practice giving two-armed hugs. Like my parents hated the one-armed hug. There were all these little things that they were obsessive about that I kind of became obsessive about.
What is it in them that drove that though? I mean, it's interesting that people would find each other that are like-minded like that. Usually, one might be and not the other, but how did they grow up? What were their family situations like?
I do not think any of these skills were instilled in them. My dad in particular had a very dysfunctional family growing up, with very uninvolved parents who had alcoholism. He grew up in a very difficult household where he was pretty much on his own starting at age five to raise himself. My mom, and her parents were warm and friendly, but there was no helicoptering happening. I think the parents are both very intense people and it's probably a reaction to them not getting a lot of guidance growing up that they felt like they needed to overcompensate in a way for me and my brother and give us what they wish they would have had more of.
I think both being attorneys, they're skilled at asking questions and being curious and taking an interest in others, both for benefit professionally, it makes them better attorneys in representing their clients, but also it's just an important part of the job. I also think my parents don't really like to talk about themselves, that my mom always says like, “I'm the least interesting person. I don't, why would I talk about myself? I want to hear about all these other people.” I don't think that there's this desire to, I don't know, talk about themselves where I think most people really do like to talk about themselves. It works out well that you can just get the other person talking.
It's interesting that even though that's a skill of attorneys, I have definitely met a ton of attorneys in my life that aren't skilled at that outside of work. Where your mom is saying she's the least interesting person in the room. Most attorneys do not feel that way. It's just interesting. What type of attorneys were they?
My mom is a divorce lawyer. My dad does personal injury.
They meet each other in law school?
They met after law school at the courthouse. They're quirky. I don't know. They dated for eight or nine years. They had me when they were in their ‘40s. My dad especially is highly neurotic and just cautious about everything. Just really focused, they both are, on how do you make other people feel important? I think anyone who makes a real concentrated effort to ask other people questions and take an interest in them, you see how much that means to another person. You see them light up.
I cannot tell you how many conversations I have with people where they say, “This was such a fun conversation.” Maybe we're leaving and there's two minutes left. We're walking out the door and they go, “Wait, but we just had lunch and I never heard anything about your life.” I'm thinking, “You loved this conversation because all you did was talk about yourself. I'm really happy for you.” I don't have much to say. I think once you see the power of taking an interest and what that does to another person, it almost becomes addicting where you want to give that gift to as many people as possible.
Taking Interest: Once you see the power of taking an interest and what that does to another person, it almost becomes addicting where you want to give that gift to as many people as possible.
When you were younger, was this annoying?
Very annoying. I would always have to spend half of a party with the adults. I couldn't just go play with them because I had to learn how to talk to the adults. That I think was a real skill that helped me in starting in college when I was interviewing for jobs I never felt like a kid. I always felt most like a peer to adults.
I was in a similar situation. When did it flip for you that this became something that you decided to focus on in your career? When you were younger, what did you want to be? You said you're not good at math and science, but was there something you were dreaming that you were going to be?
Always a CEO. There's a video of me, my parents and aunts, and uncles, anytime we went on a big family vacation, they would interview all six cousins one by one and ask us a series of questions. When I was maybe 6 or 7, they did this. One of the questions was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I looked straight into the video camera and I said, “I want to be a chief executive officer.”
They say, “Why do you want to be a chief executive officer?” I said, “I want to make billions.” I was so young and it was just like I always wanted power, I think. I was always really ambitious and defined success by power and money. When I was in my sophomore year of college, I got over ten internship offers all through networking. My friends weren't having that same success. I realized, “I'm good at interviewing and finding my way to warm myself into a job.”
The Transition From College Entrepreneur To Corporate Leader
It just comes naturally to me. Like I'd always need to write friends resumes and writing their emails and cover letters. I was thinking, I got to get paid for this. I started this company in college. I went to Indiana University and I started a company. It was called Strategic Internship Consulting, SIC. I would meet with students one-on-one and coach them in how to walk into an interview. Like we would practice a firm handshake, eye contact, and making small talk. I would write their resumes. I'd do their cover letters.
I'd help them build out a networking plan to tap into their personal and professional relationships. I ran that company all through college. It was just something that I realized that my strength is understanding how to manuver other people and I could teach that skill. I loved that business. I then had a more traditional corporate career, which I didn't love, and eventually started my business in 2019, which I think is kind of this iteration of that Strategic Internship Consulting.
What things did you learn from having a business in college?
I learned all the things that go into running a business other than doing the work. You have to come up with a brand and a website and think about trademarking and pricing. I also realized that it doesn't feel like work most of the time because you love what you're doing. I loved not working for someone else. I loved being able to come up with a random idea and within 24 hours, it could be live.
I could make it happen. I didn't have to go through any red tape. I also realized the importance of my reputation as a business owner. I realized that I was the business, the business was me in a way. I was very conscious of how I dressed and what I did at frat houses. These were the people I was selling to, the other college kids but could it be a crazy college kid. I definitely was at times, but I was hyper-aware of my reputation as a business owner. I took it seriously.
What things did you not like about it?
The immense pressure
The pressure, yeah.
Challenges Of Entrepreneurship And Building A Business
Now also as a business owner, that you don't have people to rely on, to guide you through things, to ask questions, to brainstorm, to navigate things that you're not good at. There are certain things that I'm just not good at, but I don't have anyone else. That was true then, and it's true today. There are pros and cons, and it has to be something you love and that you're passionate about. I was so passionate about that college business that it really made it energizing and worthwhile.
In the work that you do now, what are the principles that you've brought through from your childhood of learning about communication?
That it's all about the other person. That could be the theme of just about all of the workshops that we lead at our clients. It's whether we're teaching active listening, how do you ask questions to signal that you understand someone's goal or an assignment. It's making them fee or maybe we're doing a workshop on networking and relationship building. People often ask me, “What do we talk about when we're making small talk or at a client lunch?” The answer is whatever they want to talk about. It doesn't matter what you want to talk about.
You figure out what they like and you go with it. If we're even doing a workshop for managers on giving feedback. It's not just what you need from them. It's tying the feedback into their desired goals. How your recommended behavior changes get them where they want to be. I think that's really the pillar that I took away from my parents and from my college business is having this others awareness. We talked a lot about self-awareness, but I think what's not talked about enough is others awareness.
In the work that I do, it's utilizing mindfulness training to get to the same end goal. I think people struggle with a message that they want to get across in that conversation. I'm sure you've heard that as well. What are the advice to you? Let's say it's a very difficult relationship. You want to make sure that you get your point across of the things they need to do, how would you approach it? How would you tell someone to approach it?
I think that anyone has to understand that in order for someone to take your advice, to apply it, they have to trust you and they have to respect you. I think the way you were in trust is by signaling to the other person that you see them, you're seeking to understand them. You cannot jump three steps ahead by just telling them what you want. You have to start by building that trust and trust is earned over time through repeated actions and micro actions.
When working with leaders who are so frustrated with their team not doing something or they need to give this difficult feedback and we practice what they're going to say, how they're going to say it using our frameworks. There's not a baseline level of psychological safety where they feel understood by you, where they feel like they trust what you're saying is also in their best interest. It's not going to be effective. There's just no way to do that.
How would you go in and approach the conversation?
I think if there is a level of understanding that there hasn't been psychological safety creed and maybe a leader is saying, “No, I've snapped at them. I've lost my temper. I haven't been the best manager over time.” I would start with an acknowledgement of that. I want to have a candid conversation. I've been reflecting on how I've been showing up at work for the last six months and I haven't been showing up like the leader I want to be and the leader you deserve.
These are the three things that I wish I would have done differently. I'm not making excuses for myself. I want you to know that I understand that that was really unhelpful behavior on my part. As I think towards the future, here are the things that I think we can both do in order to improve our working relationship. Here's what I want to do differently, what I commit to and here's what would be really helpful if you could do differently. It's being clear on what to do in the future. I think too often we focus on what not to do, don't do that again, but what to do.
Making clear specific recommendations. I also think there has to be an accountability element where perhaps the manager says, “Why don't we schedule a touch base four weeks from now? I want to reconnect and get a pulse on how am I showing up as a leader. What can I do differently to make a 5% improvement?” We'll also touch base on what you've been doing differently. Is it working? It's kind of owning up to what hasn't been working well and signaling that you are also making an effort to change. You cannot just put it all on this other person.
I think that's very good advice. How did you get your training in this?
Life. Honestly, I have no certifications and I really learned this through growing up in the boot camp that was the Gelwix household. When I had those corporate jobs at Kimberly Clark and Management Consulting, I learned a lot from the poor decisions that I made and mistakes. It's always been my goal to at least help as many young professionals as possible, not have to learn the hard way. Learn from my mistakes and just conversations that I had that didn't go well and upon reflection, why they didn't go well. Just an avid studies of social psychology and reading and learning and applying that and kind of weaving that into kind of my practical lessons learned.
Taking Interest: It's always been my goal to at least help as many young professionals as possible, not have to learn the hard way.
Reverse on the opposite side of that. You've taken a lot of things that you learned growing up that has helped you. What things have you decided older that was their belief system, but you have shifted your belief system or pivoted on a lesson based on your own life experiences?
Money was a big topic in my household. It was just talked about constantly. I think part of it was my mom being a divorce lawyer. There were always money conversations that she was dealing with. She saw a lot of women in particular going through a divorce who had no control over their finances or even any awareness of how much money they had.
Shifting Scarcity Mindset And Redefining Success
Also for my dad and the scarcity minds that he grew up with no money at all. He didn't want that for us. My dad would put us to sleep at night and to kind of convey the idea of earning interest, he would say, “Go to sleep and make some money.” It was his idea of saying, you make money while you sleep, you're earning interest if the money's in the bank. We'd wake up in the morning and go, “How much money do we make overnight?”
He'd say, “I don't know.” I mean, really, I'm telling you, intense. My brother and I both were obsessed with saving every single penny we made. We never bought anything with the lemonade stand money or our bar mitzvah money. That has somewhat messed my brother and I up where I'd rather walk three miles than pay a dollar for a bus ticket. I mean, I was crazy.
That's not your hourly rate.
Yeah, exactly. I was losing money by walking. That really haunted me up until I would say my mid-20s when I went into therapy to figure out how can I not live such a rigid lifestyle. Like I would be 22, or 23, I'd go into the McDonald's and take mustard packets rather than buy a bottle of mustard. Like it was this obsession with I have to save, save, save. That is one thing that wasn't very helpful.
How did you break from that? That's a mindset, that's a very hard mindset to break.
Very hard. It really was through therapy and also building and understanding of finances where I look at what I have in the bank. This was a huge factor when I quit my corporate job to start my business. I mean, think about the risk you're taking by giving up a salary. I met with my financial advisor and we talked about like, “How much runway do I have? How long can I last running this business if I don't make a penny?”
I also am very lucky that I had a safety blanket in my parents. Like I knew I wouldn't lose my apartment if the business didn't work out. I worked very actively on fixing this mindset. It still is there, but now if I want a coffee, I'll go buy a coffee and I don't sweat it once a week, it's fine. Whereas that would have been a huge deal. In fact, I will never forget, I did this spin class in downtown Chicago this was ten years ago, maybe.
I got a free pass for the spin class and they told you where to park. I parked there and I went in to get my parking validated at the front desk when I checked in and they validated it and said, “Now your parking's only $8.” I said, “What? I still have to pay something for parking?” I was hysterically sobbing throughout the entire spin class about this eight hours I was going to spend, but I wasn't expecting. I literally was sobbing throughout the entire class. You can see how deeply rooted this issue is.
I grew up so similar. I earned. I think it was $6 a week. I had a checkbook at twelve years old. I had to reconcile my bank statements and everything I earned, that's where I had to buy my clothes or go out with my friends. It was like, where my friends could go out and shop. Like I was on this budget that I watched everything in it. Each budget period had to last me six months. I couldn't blow it like right away.
I ended up having three jobs during high school because my parents did lose everything. That experience also created a belief system of mine where I always had to have a backup job. I started my own business, but then I was like an adjunct professor for like three colleges in my ‘20s. I always had another backup because I knew you could lose everything. I would pay everyone before me. It was just a vicious cycle. It was actually my ex-husband one night who was like, “If you're going to do this, you might as well just go get a salary because like you're working more constant because you're so scared of one thing not working versus another.”
I think it was like in my ‘30s where I finally was like, “Wait a second, I have money in the bank account.” I can splurge on little things as long as I know I have like the cushion that I want and so forth, but it is like these little shifts over time that you have to give yourself permission and it can still revert back really easily and affect the people around you. What were the little things besides the coffee to really kind of break that mindset?
I sound totally crazy if I talk about things.
I know. There are so many people with this issue. One way or the other, yeah.
Honestly, and what's funny is I still have this. I have a one-year-old daughter and we live in a nice big house in the Chicago suburbs. Like we have absolute financial security. Obviously, I have to work, but like it's not we have $0 and a thing. I have not bought a single thing for her ever. Not an outfit, not anything. Everything has been from community members who post on Facebook and they say, “We have a crib, does anyone need one?”
I grab it. Does anyone need eighteen-month clothing? Right now, my nanny is out driving around, picking things up from people's doorsteps. Little onesie here, a little hat here. I'm thinking to myself, I know rationally that the gas money we're spending for her to pick up the hat. I was going to just say costs more than the hat.
What you're paying her per hour to do that?
Totally. I don't want to spend money on things that she'll grow out of and that other people are giving away anyway.
There is something to be said for like baby stuff that lasts a few months too. It's when it goes like where you're like, “Is there a place in the middle?”
Yeah, exactly. I'm still dealing with this, Amy.
I think it's really important that we all work to like what that awareness is of those things that creep up on us because we have to understand where they came from and then understand the programming, which even when you're asleep, you're nervous about money.
Yeah, I know.
Like that is you're supposed to be, you're relaxed and reset but really in your head, you're like, “Is it making enough money while I'm sleeping?” There really isn't an off time. It's like giving yourself that reprieve of what is really important and being able to be aware when it comes up. I think for everyone listening to this, whatever it is, it doesn't mean that you can definitely change it when you're aware of it but being aware of it is the first step.
Usually, the fact is like your dad went through life never being aware of it. This was such a fear for him that turned into a belief system that turned into a teaching lesson and programming for you that he wouldn't be aware of it. He thought that was the right thing. It doesn't mean it's the wrong thing. It's just, there's an extreme. We have to give ourselves that celebration moment when we're even aware that we just had our nanny do that.
You have to laugh at it a little bit.
It's no different than what you're saying to the leaders to say in a feedback session. Like I could have done this different.
Exactly, just aim for incremental improvements.
Those little incremental improvements over time no matter if you're talking about your corporate life or your personal life, are the things that make big changes in the long run. Having that awareness, I think is really important. Thanks for sharing that story.
It's all too true.
I know. What do you like to do for fun?
I like to sit on the couch and watch TV. That is the ultimate relaxation for me. I probably do it 30 minutes a week. I treasure it and I wish I could do it more. I enjoy working out, which I know sounds foreign to some people. I'm a big Peloton person, so I love the weights classes and the biking.
You don't have to find a parking spot for Peloton.
Exactly. I can do it at my own house. I don't have to pay a gym fee. I don't have to pay gas to get to a gym. I don't love the workout while I'm doing it, but I love how I feel afterwards. I'm pretty disciplined about waking up early each morning and doing that. I love to travel. I was really lucky to travel all around the world growing up and kind of developed this love for going to very different cultures and trying to experience it and understand it. Those are my favorite things to do.
That's awesome. What advice would you give to entrepreneurs? Just anyone running a business or starting up a business as far as the things that they might be unaware of that they're going to encounter because like you said, having a business of your own, the good part is you get to do the thing that you love. No one's telling you the right or wrong of doing it, but there are a lot of struggles because I think at least I've seen over time, most people think that's what being an entrepreneur is, but that's probably 20% of your job that you get to do the things that you like. What kind of advice would you give to an entrepreneur?
Advice For Aspiring Entrepreneurs
To be totally honest with you, Amy, my advice to someone who wants to be an entrepreneur is don't do it. I say that because the only way it's going to work is if you feel like I have to do this, I do not have a choice, it is a fire inside me, it cannot be extinguished. Those people are going to ignore the don't do it advice from me.
Taking Interest: My advice to someone who wants to be an entrepreneur is don't do it. The only way it's going to work is if you feel like you have to do this, you do not have a choice, it is a fire inside that cannot be extinguished.
If you don't feel like you have to, you cannot do anything else. It's not going to go well because if you start a business and you're successful at it, it is so all-consuming. It is so much pressure. It is such an emotional roller coaster that tears you down and then you have these high highs and then an hour later, you're in a fetal position crying. It is not for the faint of heart.
I felt like I was at the top of a burning building when I was at my corporate job and my only option was to jump out the window. I had no other choice and that is why I did this, started my business. I feel very strongly that if you don't feel like you're at the top of a burning building, don't do it to yourself. Collect that corporate paycheck, get the four weeks vacation, get the benefits, and watch more than 30 minutes a week of television.
I do think it gets glamorized a lot being an entrepreneur and there are definite, like you said, benefits of doing that, but you really have to be prepared for everything else that comes with running a business and making sure that you're ready to spend money on other experts that are going to help you and things that you don't know how to do and be able to listen to that.
I remember my first business, I thought it was going to be part-time. I was going to do an accounting. I started an accounting practice and I thought it would be part-time and that way I don't have a boss and I can take care of my baby. I started realizing, “No, everyone's my boss now. My clients were my boss because then I had to work around them and making sure they got their stuff done.” I was like, “Wait a second.”
My colleague just emailed me, “This firm wants a virtual workshop this week in February. It looks like you're in Palm Springs that week for your one vacation of the year.” That's the only week they want it. I was like, “We're doing a workshop while I'm home.” That is what it is.
That's when you need the work. Yeah. Exactly. I think that's really important because you have to be ready for the effort and the work that goes behind it. It can look a lot more glamorous from the outside because of all the years of trying to figure it out.
Everything seems glamorous. I travel all over for these speaking engagements, conferences, whatever it is. People always say, “I saw you were in Vancouver and then Boston and New York and all that. Like your life is so cool.” What they don't see is last week I was sleeping on the floor of the airport at my gate overnight because my flight got canceled. I had to take $800 out of pocket to get on the first flight out the next morning and go straight to the nine-hour workshop. Like there is nothing glamorous about that. I smelled horrific, I looked disgusting, I was miserable and exhausted.
You're going to show up with a smile on.
I have to. If I didn't love what I do, I would have really hated it.
I'd like to close with some rapid-fire questions, so it's on a category. Either family or friends, money, spiritual or health.
Let's do health. We've already talked about family and money.
Perfect. Things or actions I don't have that I want to have that.
Things or actions I don't have that I want to have. I want to have strong abs. Somehow I'm a year postpartum and still don't have my abs back. That is what I would really like.
It's a journey. Things or actions I do have that I want to keep with my health.
I want to continue waking up at 5:00 AM. It's more like 5:03 AM for whatever reason, I only do alarms at odd minutes. 5:03 AM. I want to continue doing that and getting my workout in before 6:00 AM. It's just such a great way to start my day.
What is it about the odd minutes? I'm sorry.
I have no idea. It's bizarre. It's my way of saying, “It's not 5:00 AM. It's not that bad. It's 5:03, but 5.03 is like way too lazy.
Things or actions I don't have that I don't want to have with my health.
I don't want to get complacent. I fear bad habits. I guess that's what I would say. That's why I'm obsessive about working out every day is because I feel like if I miss a day, I'll never work out again for the rest of my life. It's not that I'm extreme or anything. Complacency, I don't want.
Last, things or actions that I do have that I don't want.
I do have a sweet tooth and I pretty much eat anything I want whenever I want. I wish I did not have that.
That's why you wake up at 5:03 every day.
Exactly. That's my balance.
I'm with you on a lot of these answers. Anything you want to make sure people leave with that we didn't cover or that you want to emphasize from our conversation?
Final Reflections On Entrepreneurship And Building Strong Connections
I think it would be, to listen more, take an interest in other people, ask more questions, use phrases, tell me more when they tell you something, go a little bit deeper, and then follow up on what they said. Put reminders in your phone, in your calendar. They have a trip coming up or a job interview. Text them that morning, “I'm thinking of you, good luck today.” No one else does it. It really makes a huge difference.
Taking Interest: Listen more, take an interest in other people, and ask more questions.
I love it. I think the follow-up's a big one.
Huge.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone. I think there are so many great lessons for people to take away.
Thank you, Amy. This was so much fun.
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Now for my mindful moments with Elise's powers. I just love this conversation about communication and also about belief systems that we can have that maybe we don't even realize where it comes from or just really hard to break. The first thing that we talked about was these focus that Elise's family had on communication and how important relationships are and having people really enjoy being in your presence.
From a young age, Elise was trained on how to communicate and really understanding what it was like to put effort and intention around that communication. One of the things that her parents talked to her about was to make sure to ask a lot of questions and be prepared with questions that you're going to ask people when you're around them.
The other thing that her father really had her do was make sure that after she had a conversation that she writes down the people's names that someone talked about, what was important to them, so that the next time that she was going to see a person, that she was going to be able to follow up on some of the things that she heard.
This is really an important lesson that we talked about people can feel like you have this great conversation when you practically say nothing and not even talk about yourself at all in that conversation. The fact that she was taught this in such a young age and the key question of how do you make other people feel important and the power is in taking an interest in someone else.
She had to learn that in order to grow in her career, in order for her to make money, in order for her to be powerful, communication was a key thing to making sure those relationships were secure. This was a lesson she was taught very early that she has used in her life to be able to create a whole business out of training people on a lot of these principles and seeing what worked and didn't work in her life, as well as just being a leader and those experiences and what works.
Some of the principles that we talked about is that to make sure when you're going into a conversation with someone else, especially if you're having to give feedback, that you're going into that conversation making sure that it's all about the other person. It's not coming in and talking about what you're disappointed about or what your issues are that you are deploying active listening, and asking a lot of questions.
Making sure that that person feels heard, that you aren't getting distracted, that you're listening to what they say, you're repeating back maybe what they say, and you're really trying to understand how to take the information that you are receiving and be aware of how it feels to be in their shoes with their perspectives and whatever goals that that person has that you can tie back the feedback to those goals and things that they set.
The big lesson that she talked about here is in order to earn trust so that we can give feedback, it's important that we seek to understand what that person is going through and that we do this over time so that these little micro-actions create psychological safety for someone. When we have to give them feedback, that they're not going to feel like it's harmful, that they know that you are there to help.
Now, another belief system, which I think is a belief system for a lot of people that sometimes we don't recognize that have happened in our life that we talked about, was money. Sometimes this can be one of those really uncomfortable conversations of what our belief systems are around money and how those belief systems get created but I do think it is really important to understand where our thought process came in about money.
What happens is that as we grow up, if we start taking those belief systems we had when we were younger, they may not apply to who we are today. That was one thing that we talked about, that her mom was a divorce lawyer, so she saw a lot of women not having financial control and understanding money that were clients of hers.
Her dad came from a scarcity mindset that he wanted to make sure money was in the bank and could make money while you are sleeping. There was never enough money that you could save in order to be able to get comfortable. We talked about what that was like over time for her to really process the way that she was taught to make money and we even talked about the fact that she even had this pressure while she was sleeping to make sure the money was making money.
What belief systems for her really align to her as a person today and the struggles that we have in our own lives to break from those belief systems. I think it's really a key thing here and it's demonstrated in what she talked about in the first area of communication is showing this vulnerability. The fact that Elise showed this vulnerability makes her more authentic and we can connect with her because this is something that so many people go through and people want to connect at some level of where the struggle is and not trying to be perfect in front of everybody.
Even realizing her story about having the nanny go around to all of these different houses to look at the things that people are giving away, it's really important that we do take note in ourselves of when something doesn't serve us anymore. I talked about in here in my own life of really having to recognize that because in my own life, we lost everything we had when I was a teenager.
That scared feeling stays with me even until this day. A lot of times have to break from it and just know that I have worked really hard to get where I'm at. I have taken precautions that maybe my parents didn't take. Not to say it can't happen, but it's important that we only have one life to live. We do things in a safe way financially and make sure we have things allocated but having fun is a really important piece of life. These are the things that we talk about in our coaching programs at the B3 Method Institute.
There are these areas of freedom that we have to recognize so that we can break through. We've even created a workbook so that you can take action now in your life so that you can start this journey. If you go to the Work-Life Harmony workbook, you can find it at BusinessBalanceBliss.com/Workbook.
You can download this for free. We are giving this for free to our listeners, to the people in our community that support the things that we are doing. It gives you exercises and things to reflect upon each day so that you can really create the real change that you want. Create this 30-day journey for yourself and it usually takes about 30 days to break a habit.
We're not there yet, it just might be one piece of the puzzle that we're breaking, but this will get you started on your journey. Again, you can go to BusinessBalanceBliss.com/Workbook. You'll also see promotions on our Breaking Beliefs podcast page on the AmyVetter.com site for this as well if you don't remember the BusinessBalanceBliss.com site.
I want to thank all of you for taking this time to listen to Elise's story and also reflect on your own and really step back and think about what are the things that you can do to really observe where these things crop up for you and what things you can do to shift it in your own life. At the end of the day, our energy is contagious.
When we're not intentional about our energy, we can show up in ways that we don't intend to. This is the work and we all have the work to do every single day and just stay constantly aware of the decisions we're making so we can be intentional in the actions that we take. Thank you so much for listening and I look forward to sharing our next episode with you as well.
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About Elise Powers
I’m pleased to introduce you to Elise Powers, the founder of Eleview Consulting. Eleview Consulting leads workshops around the world for professional services firms on skills such as mentorship, building psychological safety, and navigating critical conversations. Elise has specialized in teaching communication and relationship-building skills for over a decade and has been featured in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and ABC News. She is LinkedIn’s leading expert on career acceleration and networking.