How Authentic Leaders Build Trust Through Optimism and Vulnerability

I recently enjoyed sitting down with Gary Thomson on my Breaking Beliefs podcast. Gary founded Thomson Consulting after decades of leadership in the accounting profession, and our conversation revealed some powerful insights about leadership that I had to share with you.

Setting the Bar as a Leader

Gary shared how his upbringing as a minister's son directly influenced his leadership philosophy. Growing up, he felt the weight of being constantly observed by the congregation. "It made me acutely aware that all eyes are on us," Gary explained. "It drove me into leadership-type thinking before I would have defined it as leadership thinking."

His father's position created unique pressures—the community judged the minister partly on how well he could "keep his house in order." This awareness shaped Gary's understanding that "Leaders set a bar, and generally speaking, followers are never going to go higher than the bar."

This hit home for me. When we lead teams, we essentially create the ceiling through our own actions. Our teams watch what we do more than what we say. When we show up authentically and demonstrate high standards, we create space for everyone around us to rise to that level.

So, let me ask you: where are you setting the bar in your organization? How do your daily actions demonstrate the values and mindset you want to see reflected in your team?

On Being Vulnerable

During our conversation, Gary shared a turning point in his leadership journey. He was unexpectedly asked to speak to his firm's high-potential leaders, and instead of presenting a polished, perfect image, he opened up about his failures and mistakes.

"I laid bare, closed the door, and talked about what I consider to be some failures in my leadership," he shared.

The response amazed him. People connected with him on a much deeper level because they saw his humanity. They realized he wasn't the "perfect leader with hair always in place" but someone who struggled and learned along the way.

I've seen this countless times in my work with accounting firms and corporate teams. When we embrace vulnerability as leaders, we create what psychologists call "psychological safety"—that feeling that team members can take risks without fear of punishment or humiliation.

Remember when you were afraid to speak up in a meeting because you might sound foolish? That's what happens in cultures without psychological safety. But when leaders show their own struggles and learning moments, it changes everything.

I once worked with a CFO who consistently projected an image of perfection. His team was stressed, disengaged, and afraid to bring him problems. When we worked on helping him share more of his own challenges and learning moments, the transformation was remarkable. Team members started bringing issues forward earlier, collaboration improved, and innovation flourished.

Effective leadership vulnerability means showing your humanity: acknowledging when you don't have all the answers, sharing lessons from past mistakes, and demonstrating that growth comes from taking risks and sometimes failing. This builds trust and connection far more powerfully than maintaining an image of perfection.

Leadership Through Optimism in Uncertain Times

Toward the end of our conversation, Gary emphasized something that resonated with me: "Leaders need to be optimistic. There's a lot of heaviness in the world... people look for leaders to be optimistic, excited about the future."

Optimism doesn't mean ignoring challenges or pretending everything's perfect. It means acknowledging difficulties while maintaining confidence in your ability to overcome them together. As Gary put it, "Even when things are heavy and you don't have complete clarity on the future, know that we can get it done."

I see this play out with my clients all the time. Teams take their emotional cues from leaders. When you walk into a room with genuine optimism and confidence, it's contagious. You're not just boosting morale, you're building resilience that helps your team navigate uncertainty.

Leading Through Times of Change

Gary's experience guiding his firm through mergers offers valuable lessons for today's leaders. He candidly shared that while they thoroughly evaluated shared values with potential merger partners, they didn't fully assess cultural differences, and those differences created unexpected challenges.

"We were a moderate growth, cost-oriented firm," Gary explained. "The firm we merged with had a tremendous reputation for growth, and the exchange for growth and fast growth was that they allowed more flexibility in spending."

These kinds of everyday practices—how we handle expenses, make decisions, communicate—make up the real culture of an organization. During change, we need to look beyond stated values and understand these lived experiences.

Gary reflected on partners who had thrived in their original culture but struggled after mergers. As leaders, we must ensure everyone has clarity about expectations and support to meet them, especially during transitions.

Finding Your Rhythm as a Leader

I loved hearing about Gary's journey to become more authentic. Early in his career, he felt pressure to project a perfect image and be the leader who "has it all figured out." Now, he freely shares his mistakes, recognizing that this creates stronger connections.

This reminds me of what happens when musicians find their groove. You can't force yourself into someone else's rhythm. You have to discover the tempo and style that works for you and that integrates who you truly are with your professional role.

Take a Beat: Making Time for What Matters

Gary's honesty about being "too busy" struck a chord with me. When I asked him about things he wanted to change in his life, he shared a powerful reflection about time and priorities.

He told me about a health scare he'd experienced, a "minor episode" that initially seemed quite serious. That moment gave him clarity about how precious time really is. Yet despite this wake-up call, he quickly slipped back into old patterns.

"I'm too busy and I don't make the time and take the time for the things that are important," Gary admitted. "Unfortunately, the hamster wheel is real, and I pretty quickly find myself getting back on the hamster wheel."

He gave a simple example that can resonate with many of us: "I should have gone ahead and played golf with my buddies on Saturday. What's four hours going to hurt me?" This moment of self-awareness highlights how even seasoned leaders struggle to set boundaries around their time and honor what they truly value.

How many of us can relate to that? We know what matters, yet we still get caught up in the daily rush.

This is why I talk about "taking a beat"—those moments when we step back, breathe, and reconnect with what truly matters. Just like in music, sometimes the most powerful note is the rest.

Your Turn to Lead with Optimism

As you think about your own leadership journey, think about:

• How can your actions today set a higher bar for your team?

• When might showing vulnerability actually strengthen your leadership?

• Where can you bring more optimism to your current challenges?

• What would happen if you "took a beat" this week to renew your energy?

Gary's journey reminds us that truly effective leaders combine high standards with authentic humanity. They set the bar through their actions, demonstrate vulnerability that builds trust, maintain optimism during uncertainty, and recognize when to pause and reconnect with what matters.