Episode 51: Stay Positive: Keep Moving With Kelly Rocha
The current global pandemic has created a degree of chaos and unrest in many people’s lives. The threat of the disease extends far beyond the contraction of an ailing body; it’s been the cause of a lot of mental and emotional stress. In this episode, Amy Vetter interviews Kelly Rocha, the President of the Sacramento Chapter of Meeting Planners International (MPI). Kelly shares her vulnerable story of how COVID has impacted the meeting industry and the profession she loves so much and how, like many, she is doing her best to cope and stay positive.
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Stay Positive: Keep Moving With Kelly Rocha
Welcome to this episode, where I interviewed Kelly Rocha, who is serving as the President of the Sacramento Chapter of Meeting Professionals International. During this episode, Kelly shares her vulnerable story of how COVID has impacted the meeting industry and the profession she loves. How like many, she was doing her best to cope and stay positive. For many of you out there that are dealing with the same situation of change and pivoting your career, hopefully this episode will give you some great tips and actual ways to be able to move forward and find new ways to fulfill yourself and your career.
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I'm with Kelly Rocha. Kelly, do you want to start off and give us a little background on yourself?
I’m a mom of two. I’ve been in the association supplier industry for over many years. I’m going through this time laid off. I’m trying to figure out this new world. I’m active kiking, wine tasting, beer tasting, gardening, and figuring out life. It's interesting to see where I'm going to land.
I think many people are in the same position. Life turned around unexpected, so it’s always good to get back to the things that fulfill you.
I have grandkids now, it's like, “What do you do?” Before, I was a volunteer for little league and high school football, and now that the kids are grown, I'm like, “It's just me.”
I’m going through similar stuff. My kids are in high school and college. It feels selfish, it's like, “I can do what I want.”
I have a boyfriend who wants to take off and go every weekend. We took a road trip. We went to Fort Bragg and then he's like, “We don't have anything to get back for. Let's go up to Eureka.” I was like, “Okay.”
There's a lot of freedom in that.
I’m like, “I have nobody to report to, so let's do it.”
Kelly is the President of MPI Sacramento Chapter. The meeting planning industry, the conference industry, and all of that, entertainment as a whole has been affected hard during these times. It’s going through a lot of change and that's always a perfect segue into what this show is all about is getting back to who we are and understanding how we make pivots and different decisions in our life. I'd love to start out understanding where you grew up, what did your parents do, and what are the things that you love to do when you were a child?
I was born in Huntington Beach. My dad was a surfer. My mom worked at Disneyland, so I was a Disneyland baby. She worked in the parking lot. For any of you guys that remember the E-tickets, F-tickets, she worked on the tram, enter to the left, exit to the right. I was lucky to have the surfer lifestyle, laid-back. They split up and my mom remarried and we moved up to Grass Valley. I have three sisters. Thinking about it now and with my kids, like taking them out. They're lucky to be able to go to Chili's or Friday’s and for us going to McDonald's was special with some fries.
I had a good childhood. We always had to stay outside. We were limited on TV. We were only allowed to watch TV on Thursday nights when the Cosby Show was on. It was good. I look back on it and it's like, “I was blessed that they raised me that way.” It was a family dinner every night. You sat at the table with everybody. I played volleyball, basketball, finally narrowed it down to soccer and softball. We moved to New York. Between my sophomore and junior year, my stepdad got a job as director of admissions at a boarding school back there so I moved back to New York. Going from California to New York was a challenge. I’m not a happy camper, I'll tell you that much. My dad was in Florida, so it was a choice between Florida and New York. It was like, “Stay with my sisters, my mom, and stepdad or go to my dad.”
When your dad's a surfer, I don't know what the occupation is around that or how he lives his life.
He was always in sales and then he developed a patent on disposable linens and garments. He became a successful entrepreneur in Florida and sold his company to a Chinese company. He was able to retire, bought a ranch, had his own surf surfboard built and lived the life.
Did you surf?
Staying Positive: You may be required to move industries, which is sad, but that's the way it is. You have to be open to change.
I body surf but I've never surfed.
My son, we live in Ohio, but he loves surfing, so we try to find vacations where he can go.
I have a fear of it because on a trip to Santa Cruz one time, they have these waves that come in big all of a sudden. My girlfriend and I were in Santa Cruz. We were out and all of a sudden, we see this huge wave coming in, so we're trying to get back to the shore quick. You have to duck under so you don't get tumbled but we got tumbled into the sand on the bottom and it's like, “The ocean is not anything to play with.”
We went the summer in North Carolina, which I didn't even know there was surfing in there. There is a lot of jellyfish and it's like the whole time, “Please don’t sting me.”
We were in Fort Bragg. There was a bunch of jellyfish on the beach dead. It had washed out but it was beautiful up there.
Your mom, when you guys moved with your stepfather, what did she do?
She was a nurse.
You took a different career path. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a child?
I want to be a Marine biologist.
What interested you about that?
I think back and it's because my mom always got National Geographic and we got those records that were like rubber but they weren't real. They played whale sounds. It fascinated me. I remember watching all these shows, movies, or documentaries about animal life. The plankton, shrimp, the different layers of the ocean, the different colors and how it got dark as you went down the depths of the ocean. It fascinated me with the different mammals. I was like, “I don't know what made me change from that.”
Did you want to go to school for that?
My whole plan was to go to San Diego and go to school for that. I moved to Florida after I graduated high school and worked for a five-star country club and that's where I started in the hospitality. Things never changed from there.
What did you do there?
I was a server and a bartender. I had a lot of famous clientele. It was in Boca Raton and it was interesting to say the least but it was good. I’m making $40,000 at 20, 21. It was like, “No responsibilities.” I had to leave. I had to come home. My mom and stepdad moved back to California. They kept their house. I was like, “I got to get out. If I stay here, I'm going to die.”
Why did you feel that way?
It’s because of the lifestyle. You’re bartending until 11:00 and then the bars are open until 5:00 in the morning. You go out, you go up dancing, drinking. It wasn't healthy. I was like, “I got to go.”
You went back to California and did what?
I was a bartender. I was in sales and that's where I met my husband.
Sales where? At the place you were bartending?
No. I did both jobs for a while, so sales for a home improvement company. I got pregnant with my son and I moved to the office and became the administrative manager. I did that for eight years and then got hired on with CalSAE. That was my transition into the association world.
That's the California Society of Association Executives. You got hired to do what?
I was the director of membership first and then I became the director of membership and administrative services. I did all the membership and all the admin HR.
You were the director of membership for the California Society of Association Executives.
I also staffed the SoCal Chapter. I would travel down there for all their events and handle the meetings. We had two major events. When I first started, we had a golf tournament and we had what was called Fall Forum in Palm Springs. We switched it and became the Annual Conference in Spring. We had a seasonal and annual conference, so I would help out with registration and making sure everything went smoothly. Everybody was hands-on there.
How did you feel in that job? This is different than where you started out with. Did you enjoy doing that job?
I did but I got burned out.
What did you do to help with the burnout?
I left. I went to DBA, which was the Debt Buyers Association. I did all their meetings. They had two large meetings. It’s always one to Vegas and always one wherever. I went to Jacksonville for one year. I went to the Keys one year and did stuff. I then went to CalCPA, California Society of CPAs. I was there as a program manager. I found that the association world was boring, monotonous, and the same thing. I was playing the same meetings every month for a year, all the time. I got a call from a friend that worked out at the conference center where I went to. She was like, “I think that this job would be fitting as Director of Sales and Catering because we don't sell hotel rooms. You would be selling meeting space and helping people plan their meetings.” I met with her and was successful. It was great. I have many clients that are friends on Facebook now because it became a personal experience.
Selling is not something that's easy to do. It's not about you. It's about becoming personable with who you're working with. Finding a common ground, getting interested in what they like, what they know, and making a relationship so that they come back to you. I had much repeat business that my bosses were stunned, they were like, “How do you get them to keep coming back?” I was like, “You make friends.” It's not a one and done, “Thanks for coming, thanks for your money. See you.” That's not how it works. You establish a relationship. You want them to come back. You make sure that they have a good experience and that your staff treats them well. That's what I did.
From your background as far as growing up in California and being near the ocean or having the example of your mom, what do you think helped you in maneuvering into these roles?
It was my real dad. He was great at sales. I remember as a little girl, my stepmom always reminds me, she's like, “You used to say you wanted to be the next Mrs. Lee Iacocca. You’re bigger than him. You were ambitious.” My dad always pushed me and he still does. He checks in with me three times a week sending me jobs, this and that and building me up. He was good at what he did and successful. He was an inspiration for me because that’s what I wanted to do. It's funny because my sisters are all nurses and I'm the only one that went the opposite.
Are there any situations where you're in a sales situation and you're like, “I can hear my dad coming out of my mouth” What would be some examples of that?
I can appreciate that when they're frustrated. Let's figure out a situation that's going to benefit both of us, trying to circumvent any issues. He was dynamic in that way, helping people calm down, and putting them at ease. When I see him or myself, I'm like, “Hi dad.”
In times like these, but also even in regular chaotic stressful situations when you come back up and know it's not just about you because the way he would go about it is like, “How do we both succeed here?” I hear you, I'm listening. I'm not ignoring what you're saying. How do we come together? It's the same thing. Everyone is not always themselves because people are stressed out and so forth. We've had some harder customer interactions at my yoga studio and we have to keep backing up. People are going through a lot. How do you hold space? That's what it sounds like.
It's interesting now because my boyfriend will tell me, “You're in such a rut. You don't leave the house.” I'm like, “Where am I supposed to go? I go for a walk in the morning. I water the backyard. What do you want me to do?” Nothing's open.
What is your path forward now? Are you looking to do the same things? Are you looking at other things?
I'm looking at anything. There's a lot of sales jobs in senior living. Hospitality is not going to have anything for a year at the minimum. When they do open up, there are many people that are unemployed. It's going to be a barrage of people that are applying for the same job. I don't see anything opening up for me there. I see myself having to move industries, which is sad but that's the way it is. You have to be open to change.
I think other people are going through similar situations of loss of jobs or even job responsibilities changing if you do have a job. What are you doing to maintain your energy and making sure that you stay open and positive to other future unknown?
We're taking a lot of road trips to keep healthy. He bought me a Vitamix. I’m experimenting a lot with that. I'm trying to stay positive. For a while, I was in bed watching movies and seriously depressed. I called my doctor. I'm like, “Is there something's wrong with me?” It's like, “Everybody's going through this. You need to get out and make a schedule.” I made a list and would do things, applying for this many jobs, clean the front bathroom, and make yourself lunch. I am one of the few that lost weight because I would forget to eat. I was like, “What time is it? Why am I shaky? You better eat something.”
Everyone's gone through some depression or feeling bad and the way I look at it, which I think your doctor might've been saying as well as you give yourself space but a timeline of like, “I felt sorry for myself for the last two weeks or a month. It's time to start moving forward.” The thing is you don't want that to last too long but there's time that you need as a human sometimes and give yourself grace for going through it. Do what you need to do to keep yourself motivated. If there are lists you need to make, if there are reminders and stuff like that of giving your focus.
It was nice. I pulled out all the fall decorations and decorated the house, everything up. The fall is always my favorite time of year. I felt good and then I went out, my gardenias were all blooming and I picked a bunch of those and let them float in a bowl. Trying to keep myself positive. It’s hard job hunting. My boyfriend was laid off a couple of weeks ago. He's in the medical field so he's getting calls right away. They want to snatch him up and he's like, “I'm going to take my time.” It's like, “I'm not used to it. I've never not worked.” It's surreal to me being home and not having to do anything. It was exciting to set my alarm and get up for this interview. It's odd.
It says a lot about how many calls are you going to make, how many reach outs similar to a sales position. It's a numbers game until something works out. I'd like to close out the interviews with rapid-fire questions. You can pick a category, family and friends, money, spiritual, or health.
I will choose family and friends.
With your family and friends, what are the things or actions that I don't have that I want?
The time spending the last time that I don't have spending with my kids now because they've grown and they are more interested in being with their friends.
What are the things are actions I do have that I want?
I want a new start because I'm divorced. It's barely coming on a year. Finding Kelly again, it's been nice. It's great and finding a partner that comes in the kitchen with me. When I'm cooking breakfast, it's not me cooking and serving it to him on the couch but he's in the kitchen with me mixing eggs and talking to me.
What are the things or actions that I don't have that I don't want?
The negative energy in my life anymore. I'm tired of being angry and negative. I'm done with that. I don't have time for it anymore.
Doing what you need to do to keep the energy the right way. What are the things or actions that I do have that I don't want?
Too much time on my hands.
You'll look back on this. You're like, “Why didn't I enjoy that?” Thank you for being honest and open about your path. I know a lot of people are going through similar things, so I'm sure they're going to be able to pull from here and know they're not alone. Is there anything you want to make sure that people take away from this as we close out this conversation that we haven't talked about yet?
Stay positive and keep moving. When I was at work, I was doing the stairs three times a day and I miss that. I bought a bike with a basket on the front. I get up, go for walks, ride the bike, and go have moonlight wine at the Lake. Stay active and keep positive because laying in bed and being depressed is not going to help you.
It won't help you move forward. Thanks for joining us for this episode. I look forward to talking to you soon.
Thank you.
Staying Positive: Stay positive and keep moving.
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For our Mindful Moments section where we talk about some things that we can take away from this conversation that we had with Kelly. Many of you that have gone through the difficulties of losing a job during this time or any other family trauma or changes, this time has been a test of how we truly learn about ourselves where we can take ownership of the things that we can change and also release the things that are out of our control. I even know for myself, I've had to go through that practice many times and notice when I have felt off and given myself the space to feel it.
Kelly talked about that vulnerably about giving herself the time to watch movies in bed when she needed to and so forth to help her with getting through the depression of the change in her career and the profession as a whole with things that we cannot control. With anything, we can give ourselves time to feel sorry for ourselves. I remember many years ago when I sold my accounting practice. The day after I sold it, I woke up in the morning feeling down and depressed where you think I would have been celebrating. It was something for so long that was a part of me and part of my body. It was something I created and trying to define the next day, “What does this mean for me? Who am I?”
I made myself each day go out and run and get myself moving. For many of us, we can give ourselves time to be sad, grieve, and change, which I did. I've taken that lesson into my life in different periods of time where things have been hard and say, “It's time to feel sorry for myself. It's time to allow myself to grieve and let that go.” There has to be a timeline or an end to that, so it doesn't take over because with our minds, wherever our minds go, it can affect our body. If we allow our minds to take over and not start focusing at a certain point, then we can start getting into a new habit that we don't necessarily want to be in. In order to create a habit that we want, we have to be intentional about that.
Kelly gave some great examples of doing that, where she started on a checklist of things that she needed to do, even making herself a meal but also how many calls to make that day and how many networking meetings and so forth. That you have a list of things that you need to do each day so that you stay motivated. With all that being said, everybody's going through trauma, change, and things that are unexpected in different ways. One of the most important things that I have learned through my yoga practice is non-judgment where we can see different responses in people or go through similar experiences and in our mind say to that person, “What you should do is this.” We often will give that advice because we care about that person and we're trying to help.
Oftentimes, it’s also a little bit of judgment because we know what would work for us or what we think that person should do rather than giving them the space of what they need to do on their journey in order to heal. Everybody goes about these things differently. What I'd like to say to all of you, for any of you that are going through change and unexpected trauma through this time, where you need self-care is to allow and give yourself space the way that you need to go about it. Also, give each other grace that when someone is acting out or you see strange behavior that you've never seen before, realize that they are on their journey too. Everybody is trying to make it. For all of us, what we can do is offer what somebody wants, but not offer too much where we're crossing the line. Be there for each other and be open to each person's journey so that we can also create a sense of acceptance and non-judgment in our lives for ourselves and the people around us.
Important Links:
@MamaRocha13 - Instagram
@RochaRocha13 - Twitter
Kelly Naranjo-Rocha - Facebook
Kelly Rocha - LinkedIn
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